Selenay's Ramblings

The final couple of days of my holiday were good, except for the horrible heat. I'm not built for heat. It gives me migraines.

I did a rock choir workshop via Zoom on Saturday, which was a new thing for me and I really enjoyed it. The style of teaching and singing is quite different from what I do with my community choir, but I enjoyed the change from my usual stuff. And we were doing Both Sides Now, which is a fantastic song (as if anything by Joanie Mitchell isn't) and one that the community choir would probably never touch so it was a great opportunity.

(It also gave me a potential fic title for my current fic. Maybe, for once, titles won't be The Worst(TM)?)

Now I'm back at work and nothing blew up while I was gone, but our workload for August is ridiculous and I'm going to be putting my foot down about adding any more work to our queue that's due this month. We literally can't. And the situation is the same for another team I work with. The business has woken up after covid and wants everything right now, but we're understaffed and can't hire so we can't do everything they want. August is going to be stressful.

I've booked some time off in the first week of September anyway. Two half days and two full days. Adding in the bank holiday, that week I'll only actually work on two mornings, just to try to keep things ticking over.

My sister is having some work done on her house - repairs and decorating they'd planned to do before the baby came but then lockdown happened and they couldn't have anyone in to do it. Now they want to get it done before the baby gets bigger, because some of the work is in the room that will be his nursery when he stops sleeping in their room and some of the other work is repairing things that tiny fingers might get hurt on when he starts to get mobile. So my sister and nephew are coming out to stay with my parents that week, and they'll be just round the corner so of course I need to go and hang out with them.

And also kidnap my nephew a bit.

My sister is going to be doing a bit of work during her maternity leave, starting in September, so she really needs some quiet time during that week to get started on it. Hence, nephew wrangling! My mum may also be allowed to kidnap her grandson when I'm not around. I'm so excited about getting Sprog time. He'll be three months old on Wednesday and he's the most gorgeous baby ever. I adore him to pieces. He's often grumpy for various reasons (poor thing has had a tough start to his life), but that only makes his smiles more precious.

He has such a range of expressions.

And when he's about to cry, his lower lip sticks out in the most adorable pout. We're all torn (even his parents) between snapping a photo of it and scooping him up to figure out how to stop him crying. So far, scooping mostly wins.

I didn't expect to adore this child so much, but apparently I've turned into that doting aunt who will defend her nephew to the death. I couldn't be happier about this situation.

So much pruning. SO MUCH. Good thing it's garden waste collection tomorrow, because my bin is full. But the garden looks less like a triffid is taking over, so that's progress.

Today I also got brave and went to the shops. Just to the local chemist and butcher, but as I've been shielding since mid-March that felt like a major thing. Gosh, shops are so weird now. I wore my new Dalek mask and got horribly flustered about normal things, but I remembered how to pay for things with my phone after a couple of attempts and I achieved buying my own toothpaste and ham for sandwiches for the first time in over four months, so that's progress?

Part of me things I should take advantage of this because it sounds like they're already contemplating reintroducing shielding and maybe expanding it to more groups. Argh. I'll see how that goes. Maybe I can talk Mum into taking me to the garden centre tomorrow despite her strong hints (via compost delivery) that she's not comfortable with me being around that many people?

Relaxing has felt a little less stressful today, maybe because I was less focused on trying to do it *eye roll* I've read a bit, watched some telly, sent a fic to beta, started writing a new fic...it's been both relaxing and productive. That could be the balance that works for me.

Might get some tea and watch the next episode of The Untamed now. By the end of the week, I may actually have the hang of this holiday concept!

On the one hand, I had to get up for an ops shift at 8am.

On the other hand, I wasn't at work so who cares about how early I had to get up?

After the ops shift, I did a few chores and then made the mistake of sitting down for a while and acquiring a cat on my lap. If I hadn't had other plans, I might have just curled up for a nap there. But...

My sister and her husband came out to visit us for the day with my tiny new nephew! Sprog is eleven weeks old and this is only the second time I've been able to see him (argh, global pandemic). He's adorable and I love him. Even though he was a bit fractious because he didn't sleep well overnight due to the heat. I got plenty of cuddles and lots of time playing fingers and toes with him. He's pretty good about settling down with me, which is flattering.

Unfortunately, Dad has so far had two cuddles...and Sprog has screamed both times. I think Dad is starting to feel rejected. Oops.

Sprog is quite small (just below 25th percentile for height and weight), but we're all fine with that. He's feeding well now after a rough start, but it looks like part of the reason he's often uncomfortable is that he's got reflux as well as wind. So they're going to be looking for some ideas to help him with that, because it's clearly quite painful at times for him.

But we had a lovely day and I was completely worn out at the end, but I can't wait to see Sprog again. Best nephew ever.

And then I went home and watched the first three episodes of The Untamed with hockeybosh. She's been here before, so has been helpfully explaining things that I was confused about (everyone has so many names!) and cackling at my reactions. Probably because she knows all the things I'm wrong about *g*

I'm really enjoying it! It's so pretty! I should do a proper reaction post for the first three episodes, but I can report that I already have characters I love which is a good sign. And also, WWX is adorable and therefore it's going to be very difficult to watch anything bad happen to him.

I'd only planned to watch two episodes last night, but then I said the fatal words. "Is there any reason we can't watch the next one?"

Which was such a bad idea with Guardian but HB should be able to steer us away from any really badly timed cliffhangers *g*

I'm working on a very long software release on a Sunday night, waiting for people to finish things, so this seems like a good time to write up my Worldcon experience. The rest of the trip will be a separate post :-)

As I said before, bookmonster was my roommate for just over a week and she was an excellent one. We had so much fun, she even put up with an accidental sugar-and-caffeine induced late night giggle-fest (pretty sure that Diet Coke was *not* diet), and we're plotting Dublin 2019 so I don't think I scared her too badly! We did a couple of days of sightseeing in Helsinki before the con, which was terrific fun despite the distinctly soggy nature of Monday's weather. Buying umbrellas on our first walk into the city centre was a good plan.

We spent Monday wandering through Helsinki, visiting a Lutheran cathedral, the harbour market (where we had excellent smoked salmon on rye for lunch followed by delicious pastries), riding the tram, seeing a gallery...despite Helsinki's tendency to close most things on Mondays, we did a *lot*. Supper was in an Italian restaurant we returned to a few days later. (It's just occurred to me this is where we ate on both rainy days - there's something about pasta/risotto and rain, I guess.)

And then bookmonster dragged me (kicking and screaming...er...giggling) to an Irish theme pub because how could we not and we got to sample the breath-taking expense of Finnish alcohol.

On Tuesday we met embraceurfandom, who gave us an amazing tour of Helsinki's natural history museum. Everyone should get a tour from a trained biologist of the natural history museum they worked at! After that, we set out for a late-afternoon visit to the Russian Orthodox church, where bookmonster got to discover why I'd declared the Lutheran church very restrained. Talk about BLING! We had coffee and pie and relaxed on the steps below the Lutheran church, enjoying the sunshine, before trotting off to Zetor for supper with a bunch of friends and some tractors.

After that, it was CONVENTION TIME.

Bookmonster and I didn't have any panels we were interested in until 12pm, so we pottered down to the convention centre late morning and managed to miss the worst of the registration queue. It was incredibly smooth and quick - I think we were through in under two minutes. And I got into the first panel I wanted to see, so that was good. In fact, I don't think either of us ended up not seeing anything we'd really earmarked as "must sees", and we had very few times when we were unexpectedly not in panels because nothing we wanted was accessible. I think that's probably because we were both marking at least one back-up for any slot we wanted to fill, which is a trick learned from 9W and Loncon3.

There was definitely a crowding issue on day one, but that eased a bit afterwards as the con staff handled the ticket situation (very few tickets available on the door after day one) and got extra space arranged so panels could be moved to larger venues.

I had a fantastic time and I have to give the staff a lot of kudos for working so hard to keep the convention rolling and fun for everyone despite challenges. They really worked their socks off.

One con staffer in particular needs a shout-out and I wish I knew his name. On the first day, there was a presentation scheduled in the evening on bad book covers, which bookmonster and I both wanted to go to. We joined a big group outside the room...and after a while, it became apparent it had already begun. The room had filled up so fast that they'd closed the doors and started early. The con staffer who appeared on scene realised they'd massively underestimated the popularity of that item and, because it was day one and not all the rooms were in use yet, he decided to fix this. He asked the presenter if he'd be willing to do a rerun of the presentation. Then he led his merry (and ever increasing) train of con goers through the halls on a search for a suitably-sized room with AV equipment. It was a little Goldilocks-like, stopping in rooms and then moving on when they weren't quite big enough, until finally we settled on one that could hold us all. At a conservative estimate, there were over two hundred of us...for a panel they'd only expected a max of eighty to want. Wow.

The presenter looked slightly surprised by the huge number when he arrived, but he did a fantastic job of rerunning his presentation and it was AMAZING. The combination of his good humour and some astonishingly awful book covers was perfect. Thank you to everyone who made that happen!

Before this turns into a 5k word essay, I'll retreat into a system of highlights and so forth. I had a fantastic time at Worldcon, thanks to a wonderful convention and some excellent friends. Hopefully we'll all do it again in Dublin 2019!

Highlights

- The aforementioned bad book cover panel

- The short stories for novelists workshop by Mary Robinette Kowal. I didn't expect to get into this because I was on a waiting list, but Mary was lovely and allowed in everyone who could find a seat. It was totally worth it. I learned so much! I think I even learned how to improve a short story I've been fiddling with for a while and, more importantly, how to write better short stories. Things she said made so much sense, particularly about pacing and tension issues my critique partners always point out. I know why they're happening now so I can fix them! I think this may have been the most useful and productive panel I went to.

- Live Tea and Jeopardy recording. Who knew GRRM was such a fantastic sport? I'll post a link when the episode goes up, because it's hilarious.

- The imaginary book club. Four panellists each make up a book and then review/discuss it, with a Q&A session on each book. This was exactly as hilarious as it sounds :-D

- Authors and their cats. It followed an intense panel on high fantasy, so it was a perfect and beautifully restful session of authors talking about their cats, showing photos and highlights from twitter feeds, discussing why cats are so important in the authorial process...I loved it.

- Surviving the two panels I was on. I had a lovely little panel on shipping non-canon pairings and a terrifying panel in the biggest room on the site about beta reading with Real Published Authors (including Charlie Stross) on either side of me. Apparently I didn't sound little a total idiot and someone talked to me after about how lovely and validating it was to see a fanfic writer on that panel :-) I also picked up some great tips from Charlie Stross about beta reading that I want to try out (more on that another day).

- A panel on systems of magical healing that went to some dark places and birthed some plot bunnies for me.

- Babylon 5 vs Star Trek: Fight! A funny and thoughtful panel debating the merits of each show, the parallels and differences, with a vote that ended up with B5 winning (their team sold their case really well) and a promise from bookmonster to finally watch B5 (I'm holding you to that).

- Playing Exploding Kittens and discovering selcaby is a total shark despite being a newbie to it.

- So much giggling and laughter and discussions of geek things with friends, I can't express how important that is to a good con experience.

Lowlights

- The overcrowding on day one was a bit trying on day one, but not enough to spoil anything.

- Um, that's it?

Conclusion

Worldcon75 was fantastic and it was hard to come out of the con space, which is the sign of a good con. I wasn't ready for it to end. At the end of a five day con, that's impressive. I remember being quite con-and-people-ed out at the end of Loncon3, but that wasn't how I felt this time.

Bookmonster and I did a bit of sightseeing in the morning the day after (a nice tour of the Rock Church, which was beautiful and peaceful and exactly what I needed as I came down from the con high) and then we flew back to London. It was nice to have that transition day before reality really hit and I think we were both glad we did our sightseeing before the con, because we were exhausted. There was a fair bit of napping on the plane back!

Worldcons aren't for everyone, but I've loved both the ones I've been to. Spending several days talking about nerd stuff, seeing other people get excited about the same things I am, is a fantastic experience. I've returned with new ideas, new plot bunnies, and new lists of things to read and watch. I got to meet people I've only talked to online before. I got to see old friends. It was everything I wanted it to be and that's really the best anyone can hope for out of a Worldcon.

femslashex sign-ups are open and I'm having my usual flailing internal debate about what I want and why and so forth.

And also, my huge flailing ARGH over the fact that, in all likelihood, I'm the only person who even knows what Holby City is, which means I'm highly unlikely to get Bernie/Serena fic in either offer or request. Woe and so forth. I just...I need it. My show isn't giving it to me yet, despite Bernie's realisation that she's falling for Serena, and I need to read the slow burning fall as Serena has her revelation moment and they finally get together...

::sigh:: I'll request and offer, with no expectation of getting anything. And try to narrow my other choices down to something reasonable :😁

My other thought is...huh, my holiday didn't turn out to be as horrible for my credit card as I expected. That's quite nice. I was expecting to have a much bigger bill to pay. What a lovely surprise!

It's my last day on holiday in England. Woe.

It's also a little odd, because for once, I feel like I've had a really long holiday and my mourning isn't due to not having had enough time. It's an acknowledgement that I miss this place at times, and being back here fills a need I work hard to ignore the rest of the time. This year, for the first time, I admitted there were circumstances that could pull me back.

Before, I've always said that doing the trans-Atlantic move again is not something I'd voluntarily consider. Of course, if family circumstances required it, I'd do it. That's never been in question. But this is the first time I've admitted to myself, or to anyone else, that I'd come back if the conditions were exactly right.

Note: these conditions would consist of a job offer so good I couldn't pass it up, with a pay packet that would enable me to keep the kind of lifestyle I currently have in Canada. So, unless someone knows of an incredibly high-paying job in data warehouseing somewhere in the South East or London, it won't happen any time soon.

Maybe that's why I'm feeling a bit melancholy today: I've had a wonderful holiday, I've crammed in a ton of stuff, I've properly forgotten all about work and the crap back home, and now it's the last day and I'm secretly wondering whether that perfect set of circumstances will ever happen for me. Is it time to give in and put a profile on Linkdin, just in case someone headhunts me, or do I potter along as I am for a few more years and see what happens?

I'll think about it some more when I'm not here and surrounded by only the good parts of living here. There were good reasons for me to make the move eight years ago, after all.

I refuse to waste my last day being sad, though. I'm going to get some writing done, spend some quality time with a book (or maybe more Holby City), and spend an afternoon with family having a cream tea and a nice walk by the Thames. Sadness can happen when I'm back home in Canada, with cats to cuddle.

As anyone following me on Twitter will know (selenay), my flight to England last night was cancelled. It was supposed to leave at midnight, but by 11.30pm, it was not looking good. We had to wait another three and a half hours, though, before they decided to cancel the flight and send us all away.

At 3am.

In a mostly closed airport.

Yeah. This was not a fun night for anyone. The taxi station was overwhelmed, so I didn't get home until 5am.

(Mum asked why I didn't call her to get a drive home. I did. Over a dozen times. Dad tried her, too, from England. She sleeps like the dead.)

Dad and I were in contact through the night, thanks to the airport's excellent wifi and our mutual love of tech, so we both had iMessanger going. He was lovely about all of this and kept me cheerful even when I was too tried to think anymore.

So. New plan.

I'm booked on a new flight tonight. Initially it was tonight's midnight flight (although I could see that was going to end badly, if we were all on it, because most of us would have to be bumped) but they've laid on an extra flight three hours earlier, and I'm booked on that. I'm checked in, my seat is assigned, let's hope this plane doesn't break and get cancelled!

I've had some sleep this morning, so I feel slightly less awful. This afternoon I'll just flop around and wait to try again to go to England. This...this is not the holiday I planned.

I mean, why couldn't my flight get cancelled at the end, rather than making me miss the first day of my trip? I had plans! I had tickets to the women's FA Cup Final tomorrow!

Everyone cross you fingers that my flight happens and I'm not so completely dead that I can't do football?

I'm starting to count the days until my Christmas break. Due to my compressed work schedule and the plethora of federal and company holidays, I've managed to get a Christmas break that runs from 20th December to January 5th while only using five vacation days. In other words, I'm off work for nearly two and a half weeks over Christmas.

*flail arms*

So, I'm now counting the days until December 19th when I skip out of the office singing silly carols and relishing the idea of not returning for a very long time.

Not that I don't enjoy my job, I do, but it's been a long time since I had a break that didn't involve travelling or dealing with parents and parental expectations of what a 'vacation' is. Often both. My mother's idea of a good vacation usually involves getting lots of DIY jobs done around the house and travelling places to get administrative stuff done or shop for curtains. If I take a staycation when she's here, there's usually no chance that I'll get time to sit around reading books and fic or writing for hours on end or marathoning entire TV series.

Take a wild guess at what I've got planned for Christmas :-D

So, yes, countdown to vacation is started. Nine days to go!

I'm feeling ambivalent about my preparedness for Christmas. On the one hand, I've got the turkey (stuffed turkey breast, actually) ordered at the butcher's and the Christmas pud is in the freezer. On the other hand, I got as far as mixing up pastry and mincemeat but haven't actually made and frozen the mince pies yet. Nor have I ordered the Christmas presents.

I got three quarters of my Christmas shopping done tonight. Tomorrow I make mince pies and finish the shopping. When those things are done, I'll feel much happier about the entire thing.

Shockingly, my Yuletide fic may be the only thing I feel relatively calm about. I finished it last night leaving me with well over a week for editing, beta-ing, and re-editing. I'm even feeling fairly happy with it. Huh.

And I still have two weeks to get the big crackfic C/C fic edited for Christmas Eve posting :-D

Today I am highly unimpressed by the surprise snow storm currently still raging outside my office window. This was not in the forecast! It didn't start until I was part way to work, which is why I'm staring at it from my office window and wincing at the notices from the RCMP about staying off the road due to whiteout conditions.

*sigh*

I'm hoping it's cleared off by the time I need to leave tonight. I've got various things I need to do on the way home from work, including picking up food at the vet's, and then I need to pack up the cats and take them to my aunt's. It's already looking like I'll be very late getting back from doing all that, I don't need snow making it worse.

Worse yet, I don't need snow forcing me to do it tomorrow. I need to be ready to leave for the airport at 8pm and me just getting back at 7pm, still needing to cook supper, check in on line, and finish packing will make Sel a very unhappy person.

Dear winter: You are really pushing the limits of my patience now.

At least I'm feeling semi-organised about my packing. It's not done, but I've got a lot of it figured out and sitting by the suitcase. Unfortunately that's as far as I can get for now because there are things I need tonight and tomorrow that I can't stick in the case yet. But I'm getting closer to being done and ready.

Argh, travelling in winter. It sucks so much.

Today is the traditional packing and panicking day before I go back to Canada tomorrow. I'd like to point out that Mum is doing the panicking. I'm packed, everything fits, and the only things left are the bits and bobs that I can't sort out until tomorrow morning.

Mum has been packing for two hours, she's panicking and I'm staying out of range. Mum does not pack well.

My plan (unless it's undone by panicked mothers) is to have a quiet day of reading, writing, possibly puzzle construction and lots of tea. This evening my sister and her boyfriend are arriving so that we can all go out to celebrate my sister's birthday. I have been promised Thai food. Hopefully Mum will have stopped climbing the ceiling by then.

I'm not sure what Mum's plan for me involves. Whatever it is, I'm definitely not running around like a headless chicken. I've got everything, it all fits in the case with room to spare and thus I'm ready. No, Mum, I cannot pack my PJs, skin care products or a lot of my hand luggage yet. They are all things that I'll need before tomorrow morning.

I think that I prefer traveling sans mothers.