selenay: (bemused Doctor)
So, I've been making a couple of circle-locked posts here on DW over the past few weeks about some health stuff that's been happening and I don't plan to make them public because I'm not sure the entire Internet needs to know the exact details of how my uterus is fucking me over. It does feel like I need to have something public somewhere, because some elements of this are impossible to hide, but let's go with a summary.

In summary: fibroids, unpredictable bleeding, hospital admissions due to the bleeding have been involved, so much unexpected laundry, it's all very unpleasant and turning me into the flakiest person ever because I cannot guarantee I'll actually turn up for anything I plan.

I'm on the waiting list for surgery but thanks to covid and 10 years of Tories fucking over the NHS, waiting lists are ridiculous and gynecology is has the worst waiting list of all specialities, so I'm prepared for the idea I won't get surgery before Christmas. In the meantime, I just have to manage it and accept that I will miss many fun events until it happens.

Work is...a lot. The biggest project of my career is due to launch at the beginning of July (delayed from November due to things outside my control), so there's a lot of work, so many meetings, and I'm anticipating that July and August will be even worse as we bed in the new systems we've developed. It's also been one of those projects that has stretched me and shown me that I'm capable of taking on senior roles on big things like this, so it's been great, but it's a lot.

I've been picking away at a fic since late last year, which keeps getting interrupted by health problems and work exhaustion. I went back to reread it to pick it up again last week and it's good! I love the concept! I like what I've written so far! I've got 22k of great fic that needs about 40k more fic before I can call it done, because there's a lot of plot left and Wangxian are nowhere near their happy ending yet and god damn it, I need happy endings right now.

This extends to my reading and viewing as well as my writing. Happy endings only here. I don't have the spoons to deal with traumatic endings right now.

I haven't been stitching as much as I'd like--all the health stuff has left me low on spoons a lot of the time--but I've been picking up projects when I can and I have a one day course booked next month with the Royal School of Needlework. I really will have a meltdown if a major bleeding incident prevents me getting to that. I feel like i've already missed too many things I was looking forward to this year.

It's frustrating knowing that any plan I make can be disrupted by my body doing silly things and I've lost confidence in making any plans that I need to pay for in advance or where my absence will cause issues for others. I'm still working out how to navigate that in a way that doesn't shut my life down completely but also doesn't leave other people in the lurch and me hugely out of pocket. It's a work in progress.

So yeah. 20220 is turning into a year to remember for a whole variety of reasons.
selenay: (thinking)
I assume that at some stage I'll look at the calendar on January 26th and not be thinking about where I was at this time N years ago. This isn't that year.

It is now officially two years since was admitted to the ER for emergency blood transfusions due to (then) undiagnosed severe extensive ulcerative colitis. I'd lost half my blood volume and couldn't sit up or stand up for long without feeling faint and dizzy. I was having unexpected 'naps' regularly, getting winded walking anywhere and the nurses were frankly amazed that I was still conscious with my numbers where they were.

I've mostly got past the bit in the saga where the urgent care clinic docs insisted there was nothing wrong with me. It happened and it sucked but it won't happen again because Awesome GI Guy keeps a close eye on me.

What still blows me away is that somewhere out there are three people who donated blood and saved my life. The nurses assured me that had I not received blood when I did, I would have been unconscious by the following morning and dead a day or two after that.

Those three units of blood literally saved my life that night.

I've been able to thank the doctors and nurses who worked on me that night and the doctors who have treated me since. The researchers who developed the drugs (and are still developing new, better drugs) that have kept me going since then are people I'll never be able to thank but hopefully they know how important they are to the lives of patients like me.

But the most important part of January 26th 2011 was the three units of blood I received.

Due to my medical history I can't donate blood or bone marrow. I'm signed up as an organ and tissue donor, but there's a good chance that they won't be able to harvest much from me when I die. So I've got no practical way to give back to the donor system that helped me and will probably help me again in the future.

The best I can do is this: giving blood saves lives. I'm living proof of this. If you can give blood, please do it and know that those of us who are unfortunate enough to need it really do value your gift and we thank you from the bottoms of our still-beating hearts.
selenay: (canon slash)
Cut for medical stuff )

And so I went home and moped and held a great big pity party and did everything except burst into teares on my poor mother. I even jumped down her throat when she offered to help me with my Thursday night chores because it just made me feel like a useless invalid and that? I did not need.

I'll treat her to a pumpkin spice latte after work tonight to apologise for being such a cow yesterday.

The cats worked out that I was in a bad way and spent the evening snuggling me. Both of them at once, despite the fact that they barely tolerate each other's existence right now. When I'm hyperventilating over the cost of Kate's treatment next week, remind me of how awesome they can be, OK?

Today the pity party is over. I'm going to cheer the hell up, get positive again about life and put all the crappy medical stuff to the back of my mind as much as possible.

I'm going to ignore all the depressing news stories, all the depressing fics and I'm not even going to think about trying to finish George R.R. Martin for a while. My little world will be kittens, ridiculous Tumblr gifs, happy fluffy Avengers fic and my stash of DVD boxsets.

If I write, it's going to be the daftest thing that I can possibly come up with.

At least for the next couple of days, anyway :-D

Now I just need the rest of the world to get on board with this plan.

Just ugh

Aug. 6th, 2012 11:30 am
selenay: (bad day 2)
I lost the whole of yesterday to the nastiest migraine I've ever had. I'm not even kidding with that. It's time to discuss some kind of suppressant with my GP, I think, because the 36 hours of torment was just not worth anything. Usually I can at least take Migraleve and sleep off the worst of it: this one, not even touched by Migraleve and there was no possibility of sleeping.

Ugh. Today I'm dealing with the hangover from it but that's much nicer than the actual migraine. I may just spend some time editing the ridiculously daft fic that I wrote last week and then retreat to my Olympics coverage and a nice book (I've finished the newest Mercedes Lackey and I'm onto John Scalzi's latest).

I may also be spending some quality time with [archiveofourown.org profile] scifigrl42's botfic that has now been finished and is on AO3 for your downloading pleasure :-D

I expect that the ridiculously daft fic will go onto AO3 on Wednesday. I want to do an edit today then I usually leave it another day before posting so that I can do a final typo-catching read. Except tomorrow after work I'm spending quality time with my hairdresser and her Big Book of Colours, so Wednesday.

Cut for medical stuff )

As a treat for enduring Thursday's medical visit and yesterday's migraine, I've bought myself Harry Potter on Kindle so that I can reread when I've finished the other books that I have queued. I really know how to indulge myself :-D
selenay: (bitchy trampoline)
Cut for girly TMI stuff )

In other news, nobody blew up my office building over the weekend so I had to come into work. Damn.

And my manager is still promising to chase someone about the paperwork for our new hours requests. It is getting ridiculous, yo. We put in the paperwork two and a half months ago. I'm not even kidding about that. How does it take two and a half month to read a one page form and sign it? Particularly when all the other departments approved their people's request a month ago?

Gah, I'm grumpy.

I have been going through my library loans and this is going to be a week of Read All The Things OMG due to imminent due dates and holds making it impossible for me to renew. I'm not kidding even a little bit about that.

Somewhere between watching cycling and reading, I need to find time to write. A lot. Can I have about three extra hours in each day this week?
selenay: (ace 2 (with gun))
Cut for health winges )

In other words, I am ouchy and uncomfortable. Please send tea and chocolate.

I have been doing the stats on my June reading and working out what my July priorities are. I think they can be summed up as: finishing reading the damn Hugo list.

Cut for more book details )

August will, I think, be lots of books that I've been saving as my reward for finishing the Hugos (new Mercedes Lackey, new John Scalzi, new Mira Grant book, Wolf Hall) and probably a fair bit of fanfic. I'm going to try to be good for the next three and a bit weeks and curtail my fanfic reading so that I concentrate on Hugo reading.

Expect some flaily arrgh yay joy on July 31st :-D

Yesterday I finally got around 2,000 words of Thing 4 written that I did not actively hate and declared that Thing a wrap. Woo! Now I get to write Thing 5, which should be much easier and lots of fun :-D I'm thinking that this entire fic will weigh in somewhere close to 10,000 words when I'm done which is the longest fic I've written for two years. Go me!

No PR Manager Deserves The Avengers is being edited and polished and I'm intending to get it onto AO3 by the end of the week. I apologise in advance for the insanity levels displayed in it. This was my way relief from the process of rewriting Thing 4 at least three times (I lost count).

I've got a kind of outline worked out for my [livejournal.com profile] marvel_bang fic and I want to start that next week. It's got alternate reality dimension jumping, two Coulsons, vampire!Clint, weird super soldier serums and plenty of hijinks. It's either going to be tremendously fun or the fic writing equivalent of a living nightmare.

Let's hope for option two, shall we? And remember that I can always take a short crack fic break if I need to :-D
selenay: (canon slash)
The appointment with the rheumatologist could definitely have gone better. On the one hand he examined me for hours with great thoroughness and admitted that the symptoms, history and reaction to steroids implied inflammatory joint disease.

He conceded that could be sacroilitis, which is the early stages of ankylosing spondylitis. I'd actually be happy with that because there are treatment options and doctors would be willing to help with the pain relief.

On the other hand, it should have responded to the Humira which is a big minus in the "Sel has proper back problems, not in her head" column.

I had run out of energy by then and didn't feel like explaining that the Humira only partially controls the colitis and needs other meds as well to keep me in remission. If I'd been thinking more clearly...

Anyway, he's ordered x-rays because if it's anything inflammatory, the damage of over six years of it should be visible now. If anything shows up, he'll contact me to come back in. Otherwise it's back to my GP for help, but as he doesn't like to prescribe analgesia, I'm on my own.

I was pretty depressed and hopeless last night when I finally got home. It's looking like yet again my back pain has no origin, no soloution and no help available. The only good thing is that it has been behaving slightly better over the last five days. While it did not help with the rheumatologist visit, at least I can start to hope that just maybe this flare is coming to an end.

Mum is not going home tonight due to the border agency strikes tomorrow. Sis has to because she has work on Thursday. We're leaving for the airport in an hour or so and we'll know then whether her flight is going or not. Hope she doesn't sit on the Tarmac for too long tomorrow!

In other news, I think that I want the new Zelda game for my Wii. It sounds awesome.

Also, Infinity Blade for the iPad rocks :-)

I should probably get on with useful things like composing my Yuletide fic, right?
selenay: (don't mess with sj)
So, tomorrow I finally have my appointment with the rheumatologist. There three potential outcomes from this, listed in the order I feel represent the probability they will happen:

1) The guy will say nothing is wrong, I'm hypermobile and should expect increasing pain, stiffness and inflammation in my joints due to that.
2) The guy will confirm Awesome GI Guy's suspicion that I have ankylosing spondylitis.
3) The guy will confirm that I have some other form of inflammatory arthritis.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up about a useful diagnosis and treatment plan. Annoyingly, my back has been behaving relatively well for the last couple of days (so it's not been stupidly awful, just s bit achy and stiff) and it's my hip that's been the bigger problem. Ah, well, all I can do is hope something useful comes out of this.

I know one definite outcome: total exhaustion. Ugh.
selenay: (bitchy trampoline)
Today has definitely been one of those days where I remembered why I felt so stressed just before my vacation and can't quite figure out why I thought databases would be a good career choice. Yeesh.

I managed to duck out early, though, to have a visit with Awesome GI Guy. He's very pleased with me and I'm officially back in remission :-) No change to the med schedule, we're going to see how I do for now.

I've got an appointment (finally) with a rheumatologist next month. The rheumy is probably going to order a ton of bloodwork, so Awsome GI Guy wants to be copied in on that rather than ordering his own bloods for next month and getting me stuck with needles twice in one month. Sensible guy. Awesome GI Guy also got a demo of just how nasty my back is being (I'd been sitting in his waiting room for a while, it got painful) and is speculating that this is ankylosing spondylitis. Not something that would shock me, given the UC and a family history of AS, but it was a surprise to hear someone admitting that it may be the cause.

And that's why he's Awesome :-)

Anyway, tonight is supposed to be miserable out there so I've done a short yoga practise and will be skipping class tonight. Instead I shall curl up with some TV watching. Yay.

Things I still need to do on the new computer:

1) Install iTunes
2) Switch Mcafee licence (I have until 12 Nov. to do that)
3) Install an HTML editor
4) Set up office VPN
5) Install and set up Thunderbird

It's a short list, but a couple of those are time-consuming things and I've not had much time after work this week. This is largely due to back pain. Argh.

I am really very hungry. Time to heat some chilli, methinks.
selenay: (brain to mush)
Well, my meeting with the GI Guy went a bit better than expected. I'm not in remission, but it's not bad yet and he's happy to give non-steroid meds (a 5ASA one) a good go. Woo! So, more meds but not the nasty steroids. I'm going back in four weeks to review, sooner if I deteriorate, and we'll probably conclude that Humira will need long-term help. He isn't giving up on it yet, though, and is happy to call Humira plus a 5ASA med keeping me in remission a victory so we'll see how that goes. Phew!

I'm finding Perdito Street Station very good and compelling, but also somewhat endless. It does finish at some stage, right?

I have to say, after a month or so of being rather naff and dull Holby City has rather picked up again. Between Frieda being awesome, Dan being an idiot (in a more interesting way than he was with Malick), Jac being totally awesome and my continuing fear that cardio-thoracics may really go away, it's all got lots of stories that I'm invested in. Now I just need to find time for this week's episode and Spooks among all the rugby I'm watching.

Oh, yes, and Glee and Gray's Anatomy and CSI:NY. Telly box, you are so lovely.

At some stage, I also need to watch Xena, Sliders, and all the other new stuff on Netflix. And finish old Spooks, The Tudors, Leverage and all the other stuff I've been meaning to watch.

Damn, telly box, you are lovely but you have too many options. And there are all those books that I need to read, too! The new Mercedes Lackey Valdemar book is on its way to me (and Mum will be confiscating it until my vacation, per my instructions) and there is a 500 Kingdoms book due out next month and...

Jeez, how do people find time to be bored?
selenay: (bad day 2)
I've been having a bit of a week. My computer played silly buggers on Wednesday and I've been nervous about turning it on ever since. And having anxiety moments every time I think about it, even though it's irrational to the extreme because the world isn't over if I have to replace my computer a bit earlier than planned.

Deadlines are approaching at work and things we thought would be easy to achieve are turning out to be epically not easy and in some cases require extensive work-arounds in order to get things working. So, you know, more anxiety.

On top of that, I am starting to think that my remission status only lasted two weeks. I won't go into details, but since the middle of last week there have been strong hints that I'm getting sick again.

I keep promising myself that I'll call Awesome GI Guy tomorrow if things don't improve. And then promising the same thing tomorrow and on and on. Mostly I just don't want to admit that Humira may not be holding me in remission. I'm so sick of hospitals, tests, needles, drugs, side-effects and everything else. I'm done. I don't want to talk about it to friends or family IRL because it will just worry them and I know that burying my head in the sand is not helpful but I just wanted a few weeks of being OK :-(

I wish that I could forget all of this and go into the weekend feeling calm, but the computer issues and possible flare are both things that will be rearing their heads over the weekend and I'm not good at forgetting about work.

I'd been doing so well at not being anxious and this week has just thrown me. My head is a bad place.
selenay: (questions/comments)
Oh, Humira, you fickle thing. Some weeks the injection barely stings, other weeks I have to question the maternal status of local canines out loud.

Guess which was this week's experience?

I have so totally earned the chocolate peanut butter ice-cream that I'm treating myself to tonight.

In other news...

I have set up a savings plan to pay for flights, accommodation and spending at Worldcon 2014. With a small weekly put-away, I estimate that I'll have enough for a very pleasant time indeed. Look at me, being all responsible and stuff.

I am quite disappointed that [livejournal.com profile] tardis_bigbang does not seem to be happening this year. It would have made me actually write my Orient Express in Space story rather than piddling around with files of notes and not actually writing anything.

Still, the Doctor is back on Saturday so maybe I'll finally start putting pen to paper. Either on that one or the adventures of the cross-dressing inter-species lesbian lovers. Something has to work otherwise my entire writing output this year will be [community profile] yuletide and that's just really, really bad. Someone suggest a way to make myself write?
selenay: (grin)
So, we shall start with the good news: there is no sign of active disease!

To quote Awesome GI Guy: "If I didn't know you had colitis, I would swear you didn't have it".

I believe this means that I'm officially in remission :-DD

Also, I can now eat All The Things. Salads! Raw veggies! Beans! Lentils!

I may need to slowly reintroduce these things (last night's entire head of broccoli may have been a mistake...) but it's such a relief to be able to eat normally again without worrying about my innards.

On the bad news front...

My extreme exhaustion should not be happening. I'm not losing blood and there is no longer any inflammation so there should be no fatigue. Awesome GI Guy is concerned about this and has ordered immediate blood work. I shall be stabbed tomorrow and I have to call the office on Monday to find out what they want to do next. He is putting the Awesome in Awesome GI Guy by being unsatisfied by me being drained, tired and occasionally light-headed and determined to find the cause. I adore him for this.

Today was a nausea and fatigue day. On the one hand, I was annoyed that I felt so ick because I wanted to see Awesome GI Guy and say "Looks, all better!" because it makes him happy. On reflection it was actually a good thing because he could tell by my lack of general perkiness that something wasn't right. Let's hope something nice and simple shows up in my bloodwork so that I can feel properly better soon, OK?
selenay: (don't mess with sj)
I don't really think that I can contribute any useful thoughts on the riots back home. My sister is fine and keeping us updated on her situation: she lives in Hackney so last night was rather nerve-wracking for us. Otherwise I vacillate between fear for the people getting their lives disrupted and destroyed and anger at the mindless violence behind it all.

In the middle of that, the Twitter-organised #riotcleanup (love the #riotwombles tag as well) reminded me that there are good people out there and restored some of my faith and hope. I don't care that the majority of people out there with brooms and tea are middle-class folks who can afford to take a couple of days off work to do it. In fact, that's maybe part of the point. A lot of the locals can't take the time off to do it, so shouldn't those who can do it be out there helping out?

In other news...

Cut for migraine discussion )

During my post-migraine recovery yesterday I may have (re)watched the first two episodes of Spooks on Netflix. And now I may need to mainline all the other episodes ever. Oops.

Also, I may have watched the first two episodes of The Tudors. It turns out that if I pretend it's a fantasy with no actual intention of bearing any relation to the real history, it's quite compelling.

And my Fringe S1 watch is going nicely and I'm very sad that I gave up on it as early as I did. I'll never ignore f-list recommendations again.

Finally, is there any discussion yet on which new things may be worth investigating when the fall season starts? I'm breaking up with House and The Event has been cancelled so my Mondays look very empty. I'm keeping NCIS, Glee, CSI:NY, Bones (well, it's on probation for now) and Gray's Anatomy, which on reflection looks like a lot but hey ho. Still, I need to at least give one of the new things a go this year even though my ability to predict what's going to be good has so far resulted in Flashforward and The Event being my picks and, yeah, my prediction abilities suck so much.

For the interested, I'm doing Castle, Private Practise (OMG the crack) and Fringe slowly via DVD. And considering doing the same with NCIS:LA and Hawaii 5-0. These are followed as funds and library holds permit.

Oh, god, I really am a telly addict, aren't I?
selenay: (books 2)
I'm feeling much happier and more positive today. It helps that the cramping has now gone so I'm not feeling icky. Note to self: bring a heating pad to work next specialist day and go home if the cramping gets bad. It's not worth the misery.

Also, big lunch plans after an appointment are a really bad idea.

Tomorrow there will be dinner out, at the same place that I was at yesterday in all probability, and I'm feeling much more relaxed about it now.I

Today I also took only 30mg of prednisone, per doctor's orders, rather than the 40mg I've been on for the last week. It's possible that a certain amount of yesterday's mental crazy and today's better mood are related to this.

Apparently I am not the only person who found it hard to get into Red Seas Under Red Skies by Scott Lynch. Phew! The first third or so feels very disconnected and I found it hard to really get absorbed in it. Then a certain thing happens and everything starts to flow much better. I'm now racing through it and glad that I stuck with it rather than giving up as I nearly did earlier. This is one of those books that does benefit from sticking with it despite a tough beginning and it's an illustration of why I rarely give up on books, just in case I miss a good book that took time to get going.

Tomorrow I see Harry Potter. I'm both incredibly excited and slightly sad. After all, when it's over that will be it. The last movie. No more new stuff. Admittedly, I've already had to do my mourning over the idea of no more new stuff when I read the last book but this is even more final than that.

I've got plans to buy all the books in ebook form, to supplement my physical copies, when Pottermore opens. And then I'll have a great big marathon of them all. The end of this year will be very Harry-intensive.

It's OK to sound crazy here, right?
selenay: (bad day 2)
Cut for medical stuff )

< / moaning >

You know what I'd really like? A long vacation. I'm getting very tired out from all the medical stuff and I really just want to curl up somewhere and read for a very long time right now. Except it's not a good time to take my vacation and I can't really justify even a couple of days of sick time because I'm not actually sick-sick, just worn out and fed up. Eh, I'll get over it.

This week has been filled with meetings, stress and a lot of hurry up and wait stuff. Thankfully I've had some great Tour de France racing to watch in the evenings and today the race hits the Pyrenees, which is going to be amazing.
I'm most of the way through the back of my new shirt, so hopefully tonight I'll get that finished and can start the front, which has a nice little lace motif in places.

Also, I have ticked to Harry Potter. Saturday evening. It's going to be excellent!
selenay: (bitch please)
Cut for a bit of disability rights related venting )

Cut for health stuff )

On a lighter note...

Three day weekend! Yay Canada Day!

Tomorrow we're having my aunt and cousins over for a BBQ. There will be lobster, steak, potato salad, and strawberry shortcake. Om nom nom.

Also, my copy of Heartless shipped a couple of days ago - maybe it will be in my mailbox when I get home today?

Over the weekend I am going to replace my walking trainers at the local hiking shop. My hiking boots are great for longer walks, but a bit of overkill for shorter ones and far too hot in the height of summer. They are also impractical for long days shopping or touring places. Sadly, my beloved ancient walking trainers are now just a wee bit too old. I'm assured that if very large rocks can fit through the holes in the soles, it is time to replace them :-D Thus we're going over to the city on a shoe-hunting trip.

Mum and I are going to get my aunt nailed down to a time and date tomorrow so that we can book tickets for Harry. Yup, we're going to be slightly crazy and go on opening weekend. It's going to be so much fun!

And finally, yay for long weekends!
selenay: (Holby City addict)
Had a lovely quiet weekend and even had an unplanned nap on Saturday afternoon. Drat Kate and her kitty-sleepy-vibes!

So far, I'm getting very tired and starting to get some low-level cramps, but that's about the extent of things (other than the blood-loss). My aim is to get through this without time off. We'll have to see how viable that plan is, though, and I concede that I can't push myself too far. I see Awesome GI Guy on Wednesday and I'll talk to him about what dosage of prednisone I should do, and for how long, if I feel that things are getting too awful.

I'm frustrated with my body now. Why can't it just behave and cooperate with the meds?

That aside...

I'm reading a very long Harry fic on my Kindle. Very long. Nicely plotty. I want to re-read all the Harry books now and I'm getting a wee bit excited about the movie next month. And to add to that fun, there is now the prospect that I'll finally be able to have Harry on my Kindle in the next few months. Never again will I have to figure out how in hell to hold up Order of the Phoenix because that thing is just too big for comfortable reading!

Not that I'll be getting rid of my paper copies. Nu-uh. I just want to have the added convenience of ebooks for travel and bedtime reading, while still having the lovely book-ish-ness of my paper copies to curl up with at times. It's possible that I'm obsessed....

On Saturday, I finally got round to watching last week's Holby.

Cut for length and excessive Olly appearances )
selenay: (bad day 2)
So, today was my appointment with Awesome GI Guy. He's still awesome and lovely, despite having to confirm that I'm no longer in remission.

Damn.

Cut for length )

You can imagine how irritated I felt to get back to work and find that my frequently-absent-for-no-reason colleague had decided to leave and 'work from home' for the day. Everyone knows that he is actually using that as a sneaky way to get a part day off (as he's used up his sick day for the month already) and it annoys me that I'm doing my best to keep working and contributing despite technically being sick again while he plays the system. It will bite him one day, we all know that, but today of all days it really got to me. Why do I keep trying to be a good worker when someone like that slacks off and sees nothing wrong with playing hooky at all opportunities?

Oh, yeah, I'm trying to be the responsible one so that I've got support when I really *need* the time off. Damn my sense of duty and loyalty.

In more cheerful news, my horrible nightmare project still sucks piggy wonks but the manager took the entire team out for lunch today and it was nom. I didn't even flail on food ordering, although I dutifully avoided the salad options (even though they looked gorgeous) and carefully only ate until I was pleasantly full rather than working to clean my plate. It was good to meet the other victims members of the team and spend some time just nattering and enjoying ourselves. It was noticeable that nobody discussed the project. Possibly because it's the kind of project that ruins appetites and induces alcohol drinking.

I think that I'll spend the weekend resting. I'm feeling very worn out right now.
selenay: (bad fic)
I less-than-3 the Archive of Our Own so much. Specifically the ability to download in .mobi format and put things on my Kindle. It is so much love. Last night, after checking that my bank account hadn't been emptied and doing a bit of house-keeping on some stuff, I decided that what I really needed was some lovely long plotty fanfic.

I now have the first few stories in a long, plotty Harry Potter thing. And a long, fluffy X-Men:First Class thing (what? sometimes I like fluff too!). Plus the next part in a lovely long, plotty Glee femslash fic that I love like pie. They're all on my Kindle and it is fabulous.

By the way, why are there so few long, plotty femslash things? Even fandoms with big femslash pairings tend towards shorter stuff. How does femslash always end up short and often less-than-plotty, while slash, het and gen all have tons of gorgeously long, plotty fics?

Somewhere in my brain I have fics. They will not transfer to paper. I have the Orient Express in space story (Eleven, Amy, Rory, slightly psychic little girls and murderous Egyptian goddesses) and Five Time Jenny Rescued Madame Vastra (cross-dressing interspecies lesbian romances FTW!) rattling around in there but I cannot seem to put all the bits and bobs together into coherent stories. Why is my brain so stupid?

Perhaps being dead tired from back pain is a partial cause. If I could just get some sleep...

Cut for health and exercise stuff )

New!Boss came to our office for his regular bi-weekly status meeting with us. He works in the next province and has to go past a great market on his way over. Last time, he brought exceedingly yummy donuts. The good kind, that are a plain ring covered in sugar. This time he did not bring donuts. There was much woe. We may complain in our meeting this afternoon about the lack of donuts.

Thankfully, my disappointment in the lack of donuts appears to be a good sign that my appetite is coming back. Yesterday was, er, a day when I probably wouldn't have broken 1,000 calories if I hadn't needed to make supper for Mum. She's going to be a good influence on those days, I can tell.

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