There need to be fewer Mondays in the week

[selenay]

So, on Friday I was hit with horrible depression the likes of which I have not experienced for two years, since I switched Pill brands because my old brand was no longer doing much for PMS. It was the kind of sudden, intense self-loathing and sense of utter worthlessness that leaves you staring at walls and wondering whether there is any point in going on and wouldn't it be kinder for everyone else if you just ended it now and stopped making the world worse?

Yeah.

I managed three beautiful migraines between Thursday and Sunday.

There was cramping on Saturday afternoon, just as the 24-hour depression lifted.

I Ate All The Carbs WOAH.

I bloated like crazy.

In short, I had every single one of my potential period symptoms to a higher degree than normal and it was miserable.

You know what I missed?

The damn period!

I'm on the Pill (primarily to curb the worst of my period problems) so I know to the day when I should start. I have now officially skipped while getting all the horrible side-effects. That is what I call unfair.

The last time this happened was when I had bled so much from the then-undiagnosed colitis that my haemoglobin was dangerously low and I had to have life-saving transfusions a couple of weeks later.

Although I know that I'm flaring again, I didn't actually think that I'd lost *that* much blood already. Sure, I'm probably slightly anaemic. My iron stores are undoubtedly shot to hell (let's not discuss Mum's near-total ban on red meat in our diet and her reluctance to allow any non-fish meat, it's insane). However, I'm not an interesting shade of grey, my hair isn't falling out, I'm not dizzy and I don't take 'unexpected naps' whenever I'm forced to sit down to due to dizziness.

In other words, I know that I'm not dangerously low on blood.

So, I don't know what's going on but I still don't feel like the flare is bad enough to warrant pushing my appointment with Awesome GI Guy forward from late August.

If I skip again next month, I promise that I'll...heck, I'll be practically at the appointment time already. So this is just a note to myself on symptoms so that I'll know for future reference whether skipping during a flare is a bad sign or not.

I hate my body some days.


In other news, nobody blew up my office building over the weekend so I had to come into work. Damn.

And my manager is still promising to chase someone about the paperwork for our new hours requests. It is getting ridiculous, yo. We put in the paperwork two and a half months ago. I'm not even kidding about that. How does it take two and a half month to read a one page form and sign it? Particularly when all the other departments approved their people's request a month ago?

Gah, I'm grumpy.

I have been going through my library loans and this is going to be a week of Read All The Things OMG due to imminent due dates and holds making it impossible for me to renew. I'm not kidding even a little bit about that.

Somewhere between watching cycling and reading, I need to find time to write. A lot. Can I have about three extra hours in each day this week?

Comments

[sugoll.livejournal.com]

Hmm.

You said:
> So, I don't know what's going on but I still don't feel like the flare is bad enough to warrant pushing my appointment with Awesome GI Guy forward from late August.

Might I suggest you read that paragraph again a couple of times? Also, this one:

> The last time this happened was when I had bled so much from the then-undiagnosed colitis that my haemoglobin was dangerously low and I had to have life-saving transfusions a couple of weeks later.

It sounds to me like you don't want to be a bother. Prior form with the phrase life-threatening tends to move you out of the "being a bother" camp and into the "let's just make sure" one.
Awesome GI Guy is awesome; I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Perhaps you could call and ask him whether you should shift the appointment?

[selenay]

Perhaps you could call and ask him whether you should shift the appointment?

I spoke to his nurse and moved the appointment up, but it's still a month way due to him being busy and in demand :-( You reminded me that my tendency not to want to be a bother to the docs isn't helpful, thank you.

[wadjet-theperv.livejournal.com]

I'm with sugoll. You can't be too careful hon. All that sounds extremely sucky :( My eldest daughter has horrible period problems and I put her on the pill for those (she's 15). I had the same thing, insanely heavy periods and cramps that could floor a weightlifter.

I hope they sort it out for you xx

[selenay]

That's what I'm like without the Pill, with the addition if horrid depression for 24-48 hours before I start. The Pill at least makes it manageable.

Appointment has been moved although it's still a month away. Better than two months, though.

[fyrdrakken]

Now, my first thought when you mentioned symptoms you haven't had since you switched to this brand of Pill was that the formula of your Pill might have been changed. But then you went on to talk about anemia and your mother cutting off red meat and, yeah, add my voice to those suggesting you bump up your GI appointment

I also want to suggest that you bring your mother to the appointment -- say, have her drive you -- and then ask your doctor to speak to her regarding your dietary needs. Your mother doesn't seem inclined to listen to you when you tell her these things, but maybe having someone in a white coat tell her the same things would have more of an effect. (Especially if you ask him to remind her of your previous run-in with anemia and required transfusions.)

[selenay]

I'll be talking to my GP if the period symptoms continue to be bad, but I'm hoping it's a one off. I've moved up the appointment although it's still a month away. Awesome GI Guy is in demand.

Taking mom...not a good plan. I'm hoping she doesn't need to know until I've worked out what's going on and have a plan from Awesome GI Guy. She knows in her head that my need are different from standard healthy eating advice but it's hard for her to work with. So she wants a low meat, low fat, high veg and fibre diet for both of us because that's what people *should* be doing. It's hard enough to persuade her that me snacking between meals is ok and me sometimes eating a larger portion (because I'm hungry for it) is to be encouraged rather than condemned. I'm six inches taller than her and a size XS, so dropping more weight is the last thing I need to do! I think she's spent so many years doing the diet thing that seeing me not doing the diet thing messes with her mind.

I'm just going with the flow because the sad puppy look she gets when I suggest cooking separately or anything like that is unbearable.

[fyrdrakken]

Leaving your mother out of the loop when you may be getting some news you'll have to figure out how to handle on your own is fair, certainly. But this:

I'm just going with the flow because the sad puppy look she gets when I suggest cooking separately or anything like that is unbearable.

No, no, no, no no no. Hurt feelings are less important than dietary needs, even when it's your mother's hurt feelings and your own diet. Sucking it up for a meal or two to be polite (especially when you're a guest, or eating with many other people) is one thing, but as a long-term steady diet, no. And that goes double when you have genuine health issues that are being aggravated by someone else's dietary prejudices.

(The thought occurs that part of the problem you're having with convincing her of how you need to eat is that you do go with the flow and let her feed you how she wants to: On at least a subconscious level she may be thinking that if it were as serious a matter as all that you wouldn't let yourself be swayed by sad puppy eyes, and that maybe you're exaggerating because you've gotten a taste for "unhealthy" things and want to be allowed to keep eating them, and need to be kept to a "proper" diet for your own good.)