The Untamed episodes 38 and 39

[selenay]

OK, show, how did you make me both hate a character and feel dreadfully sorry for him? HOW?

Xue Yang is very confusing to me.

I mean, clearly he's evil. SO EVIL. And awful. His revenge was horrific and there's no way to pretend it isn't. Even with that tiny glimpse of Xiao Xingchen walking away with Song Lan at the end of their arc, I know it's not the same as having a real, living Xiao Xingchen walking away with him.

(Wow, this was not subtle about their relationship. Or am I so used to reading queer coded relationships that it just feels incredibly not subtle?)

But while what he did was evil and terrible and definitely unforgivable...I'm still feeling bad for him at the same time?

He kind of...played himself. Got his revenge, but tore his heart up in the process. Developed feelings he didn't expect that made his revenge backfire on himself spectacularly. So his death was absolutely justified and I'm glad it was Song Lan who did it, but at the same time I could also see that it was a relief for him because he'd hurt himself so badly in the course of the whole thing.

So many complicated and confusing feelings about all of this.

This show is very good at making my feelings complicated.

In some ways, Guardian was a bit easier because my feelings were less conflicted about most things.

Where my feelings are much less complicated is WWX. Who decided to do something INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS again, but at least this time he survived. He needs to stop worrying me like that, but I suspect he never will.

It was a good flashback, even if it did mean most of an episode was largely free of LWJ, WWX, and the juniors. I really liked Ah Qing. She was lovely and funny and Xue Yang was definitely evil.

But it was interesting and it was good to get motivation for the whole Xue Yang thing, even if his motivation was terrible.

Apparently I won't be getting past my complicated feelings easily.

Anyway! No more Xue Yang! Everything else in these episodes!

One of the things I really appreciated was LWJ standing back and letting WWX do the talking and the reasoning, shaping what was happening. He was there whenever WWX needed him, but he also knew WWX had this and could run the show. I really love moments like that, where they both have each other's backs but also know that the thing they're currently doing is best handled by one of them, and they know which one is the handler for it. They're partners in the best way and I genuinely love any scenes where they're working together on things.

This is a thing that gets me with the right ship dynamics: a pairing who have chemistry and give me all the feelings, but also have a deep friendship and partnership as well as the other shippy things.

And then when we finally left coffin city, we got that beautiful scene between them at the market, where the world fell away and it was just them in a crowd finding each other. Buying a bunny lantern. It's such a beautifully soft moment.

I also had many complicated feelings about the juniors in the market, obviously. Sizhui having sense memories from his childhood was beautiful, Jin Ling being so very...Jin Ling, except I have a feeling that was due to his A+ parenting history. Of course he stopped playing with toys like that by the time he was three, I can't imagine Jiang Cheng letting him play like that. Grr, JC, I know you were probably the only option by that point, but you really weren't suited to raising a child. I love Sizhui more each time I see him. And Jingyi! He's such a goofy and adorable person. All the juniors are great, but these three are my favourites.

Hopefully there's good juniors fic out there :D

I also had a lot of feelings about Lan Xichen recognising WWX. Of course he did! And he's happy for LWJ! Best brother <3

Everything else about the conversation between LWJ, WWX, and LXC was painful, but at least there was that.

I'm about 98% sure now that Jin Guangyao is behind all of this. Grr. I liked him in early episodes! I feel betrayed. And LXC is deep in denial, but I can also see that he's just starting to maybe wonder...

If I'm right, LXC is going to be so hurt :(

I've got a few episodes (eleven?) to go before I have to face that. I'm hoping for at least a couple of restful and lovely episodes before we get the (probably) horrible and crashing conclusion. Maybe? I mean, even in Guardian there were some lovely episodes before the horrible and crashing conclusion.

(If the conclusion doesn't leave me as devastated as Guardian, I'll take that too.)

Comments

[soupytwist]

I find Xue Yang incredibly sad. I don't find him hot-evil the way some people do, and the story he shares of his shit abusive childhood is sad, but he's so SADISTIC, he's not just lashing out but destroying in the most thorough way he can manage, and ughhhhh. There's maybe a bit of him that wants better, but that part has lost to the part that thinks it's okay to go "I can't have this, so nobody else can have it either"/"I can only have this if I drag it the fuck down to my level, so that's what I'm going to do". I do like the Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan thing though, they are VERY DEFINITELY boyfriends and I love them even though they break my heart.

BUNNY LANTERN BUNNY LANTERN BUNNY LANTERN AHHHHHHHHHHHH

and yes, I love that LWJ has gone "not trusting Wei Ying didn't go so well before, now he is back he is going to KNOW he is trusted and loved every second I can manage it" and just acted on it. I love it. LWJ has a plan and that plan is to never say no to Wei Wuxian ever again unless he really has to, like he MIGHT say no if the world was gonna end or if the plan might make Wei Wuxian sad.

Sizhui is the best boy. The best. And omg I love Jingyi for being THAT KID: he makes me laugh so much and I am ever so fond of him, weren't we all sometimes the one who fell over or broke things or accidentally yelled or didn't realise the thing we were chopping up for colouring was a very important document? It can even happen to a LAN! I love it. And oh man Jin Ling - my heart breaks for him, he's so young and he's had such loss in his tiny life with only riches and Jiang Cheng to try to fill the gap, and he desperately wants to be ENOUGH in a way that just makes my heart hurt. And yes, there is some good Juniors fic. :D

[selenay]

I find Xue Yang incredibly sad.

I really wasn't expecting to end up finding him so sad. He'd done so many awful things, for reasons that aren't exactly a healthy response to anything, and I want to really loathe him but I'm sad for him and it's complicated. Not hot evil, I agree, because thats not my thing, but sad and complicated? Yes, absolutely.

BUNNY LANTERN BUNNY LANTERN BUNNY LANTERN AHHHHHHHHHHHH

<3 <3 <3

"not trusting Wei Ying didn't go so well before, now he is back he is going to KNOW he is trusted and loved every second I can manage it" and just acted on it

I think this is one of my absolute favourite things about this whole post-sixteen years ago thing.

And yes, there is some good Juniors fic. :D

Woo hoo!

[soupytwist]

Sad and complicated with a big helping of THE FUCK, XUE YANG, right? :)

I think this is one of my absolute favourite things about this whole post-sixteen years ago thing.

ME TOO. I love it: the difference between early LWJ and post-return LWJ is so stark but expressed in a lot of relatively small ways, so it's both really obvious and amazing, like you get to enjoy the experience of learning LWJ's tells just like WWX does. It's great. And I just love that LWJ's reaction to massive perceived fuck-ups is "I have been given a second chance, I'm not going to waste it: I will do better this time". AND HE DOES. He CAN be a petty, petty bitch, and I love him for that, but he truly does take his perceived duties seriously, and one of them is "treasure Wei Ying as much as he'll let me".