Pity poor, deluded, fannish me

[selenay]

Mother has booked her plane tickets for her visit here so I now know the dreaded arrival date. It's on my Friday off, which rather scuppers my mad pre-mother cleaning plans. Usually she arrives on a Saturday, but she decided that it would be lovely to have an extra day here so she's going with Friday instead this year. Oh, joy.

I'm thinking about booking vacation on the Thursday before so that I can do the mad pre-mother cleaning and enjoy my last day of mother-free freedom.

If her plane arrives late enough, I may also make my trip to the comic shop on the Friday morning instead of Saturday (even though the cute girl I chat to doesn't work on Fridays) so that I have one last solo trip before Mum decides that I obviously cannot possibly leave the house on my own for her entire visit.

Oh god, just the prospect of five months of never leaving the house on my own except for work is making me cringe. I love my mum, I really do, and the whole thing where she wants to go with me wherever I go and feels bad about going out for the evening and leaving me alone would be fine if her visit was just for a couple of weeks. It's five months, though, and I just can't do that without going slightly insane. As she also drives me to and from work (so she can borrow the car) two or three times a week, there's very little time when I'm not either at work or with Mum. She's great and I love her...but I miss having freedom and some modicum of privacy when she's visiting.

*sigh*

Ah, well, it's another two months before she arrives so I need to stop feeling stressed about it. Someone reassure me that when she finally moves here full-time and I have my own place, things will be different. I won't still have her in my face every minute of every day, right?

Right?


I've been dragged unwillingly into the fringes of Teen Wolf fandom. To the extent that I just pre-ordered the season 2 DVDs because I misread the library listing and thought I'd ordered season 2 when I'd actually reordered season 1. Oops.

And I may possibly have ordered season 1 from Amazon as well *headdesk*

It falls firmly in the "so bad it's good" category and I have a sad and terrible addiction to that kind of thing. Also, there is some pretty damn fabulous fic out there and I should feel guilty for watching a show just for the fic but I totally don't :-D

Thankfully, I have no desire to *write* fic for it so that's a relief.

I'm also starting to work my way through Supernatural via the library. This is one I don't feel fannish about at all, but I've been assured that season one is the weakest and I'm only meh rather than disliking it so I'm going to stick with it until at least season two.

At some stage in the next six months, I'll also have the Person of Interest DVDs in my hands thanks to the library. That's a looooong hold list.

You know what I really need to do, though? I really, really need to watch some of the shows building up on my PVR. I keep sitting upstairs with my book stack and my Kindle of fic rather than watching stuff downstairs in the evenings, so I'm getting horribly behind. Tomorrow night and Friday will need to be PVR-catchup marathons, I feel.

And next year, I may be breaking up with one or two shows so that I don't end up with so many backlogs because I'm too 'meh' to watch them. Bones is on the shaky list, as is Gray's Anatomy. NCIS, CSI:NY and Arrow are probably keepers because I'm actually watching them within a week or two of broadcast. Except Arrow, but that's because I tend to save up several and then watch them all in a glory of Arrow-ish wallowing.

Actually, I need to check my settings for Arrow again. I should have four episodes saved up but I have a nasty feeling that there's only one on the PVR, which means something may have gone wrong with that setting. AGAIN. There's a new episode tonight and if I don't have a five episode marathon waiting for me tomorrow, I may be upset.

*kicks cable box*

I've also got to do some serious Holby catch up because I'm weeks behind and I need to finish Call the Midwife. How did I just have a four day weekend without actually watching *any* of my backlogged shows?

Comments

[kimboo_york]

FIVE MONTHS??!?!??! OMG, honey, what did you DO to make that happen? I mean even the best mothers have their statute of limitations. Holy moly!!!!!

You are so much braver than I. *nods*

[selenay]

It could be worse: usually it's six months. Thank god Dad's got a big birthday she wants to be around for so she'll be arriving a month later normal.

The house I live in is rented from my parents. It works out well for all of us: they have a tenant who pays rent on time and looks after the house well, my rent is about what I'd pay for a one bed apartment and I live in four bed house. The size is a bit much for me at times but overall it's pretty nice.

The downside is that Mother is now splitting her time between here and England and she owns the house so I can't really ban her from staying here :-( It's...a problem. And I feel bad about saying "No! Please! Don't come with me!" when I go out places so I end up with constant, unremitting company *everywhere*. She's a chirpy cheerful morning person who likes to chat over breakfast. If I'm reading or doing something on my iPad, she just talks to me about everything I didn't need to know about my neighbours, church friends and her friends back in England. I feel weird watching some of my TV shows around her because she's my *mother* and some things are just wrong.

In short, this is my punishment for living in a house way above my pay grade and I must suffer every year.

Last year (and, I suspect, this year as well) Dad's mid-stay visit to us was spent entirely at the house because he didn't want to travel so I didn't even get a week of freedom while they went somewhere else. So I got both parents never leaving me alone for three weeks. By the end Mum's visit I'm usually looking wild-eyed and twitchy and it takes most of December to recover from the experience.

[kimboo_york]

Admittedly, that is a good deal for all involved...EXCEPT for the extended visit part. Gah.

We're here for you, love. We're here. *hugs you fiercely*

[selenay]

*hugs you* I just need reminding while she's here of why matricide is bad. Ugh.

[kimboo_york]

Hmmmm, I'm really the last one for THAT particular duty! Although I'll try to remember to warn you of how unpleasant jail is, I believe that's considered a deterrent?

[snottygrrl]

um, we don't know each other except by me gushing over your fic and you thanking me for it, but, yikes! i love my family, but i think i'd go spare if i had to deal with any of them in the sort of constant way you describe. can't you introduce her to erotica and get her involved in some hot books so she won't notice if you nip off for a breather?

oh, and also, i thought i was going to dump grey's anatomy and then they made it more interesting again. bleh.

[selenay]

we don't know each other except by me gushing over your fic and you thanking me for it

Don't let that stop you commenting! How do people get to know each other a bit if they don't comment, after all? :-D


can't you introduce her to erotica and get her involved in some hot books so she won't notice if you nip off for a breather?

That...is a terrifying idea. TERRIFYING. She'd have a heart attack, my adorable yet cluelessly conservative mother. There are some things I never discuss with her and sex in any format? Is top of the "Nope! NO!" list.

thought i was going to dump grey's anatomy and then they made it more interesting again. bleh.

They did that to me last year. I promised myself I'd break up with it at the end of the season and then there was the plane crash and gah. I'm thinking of doing the deed now, deleting it all from my PVR without watching the backlogged eps, so that I'm still in a 'meh' place and can't get sucked back in again.

[snottygrrl]

well, i do realise that one has to talk to get to know each other, but it always feels a bit like butting into the conversation the first few times. especially when one is talking about family :P

my adorable yet cluelessly conservative mother.

she may not be as clueless as you think. i'm v. open about my life (i also work in the m/m romance publishing biz) and was surprised that my then 78 yr-old-aunt seemed to know more and be less shocked than i expected her to be when i tentatively brought it up. but y'know, your mum is not part of my family, so maybe she really hasn't picked up on all the news about fifty shades and the rest. or perhaps you just mean you and she want to remain clueless of each other and you don't want to know if she's secretly reading badly written bdsm. though along those lines, you really should read libby drew's tale of her young teen daughter explaining her mum's m/m romance book to the little old ladies playing bingo. it's a hoot.

I promised myself I'd break up with it at the end of the season and then there was the plane crash and gah.

i've only been watching for a few years (since after that awesome season closing shooter episode. brilliant), but i was already gonna break up at the end of last season. and then i thought i'll just see who survived, and then they did great stuff with christina's character and here i am. though i don't watch many shows total, so it's not a big deal to keep on with one more.

[selenay]

so maybe she really hasn't picked up on all the news about fifty shades and the rest

Oh, the rants I've endured about fifty shades. I mean, I object to the badly writtenness and the commercialising of fanfic. Totally. I have epic rants about those.

She's a devout Christian who has only just accepted gay people won't burn in hell for all eternity. You can probably imagine what her rants have been.

I've got a long way to go before erotica of any kind (let alone her daughter writing slash) will be acceptable to her *sigh* I'll just point her to the fluffy detective novels at the library and she'll be happy :-D

[bouldergirl]

Talk to her about it. Seriously. Just talk to her. Communication is key in every good relationship. Say something like hey Mum I have this thing (make something up or create plans for whatever) that I do every week. Won't that be nice, you can go out and (insert activity like visiting aunt) while I'm doing my thing. Make it something difficult for her to invite herself along to if you feel she would try. Perhaps go do archery once a week again (assuming she is not an archer), maybe a book club that no longer takes new members once she arrives? Once a week is a good start and might go a long way toward saving you sanity. It also isn't enough that once she gets over the "but I want to be with you every second" she'll think you're deserting her.

So, ya talk to her, if not honestly then as close to honestly as you can get.

[selenay]

Knit night does at least get me out of the house without her, usually, because she's willing to admit that it's my thing and she shouldn't be there with me. Her first couple of visits were tricky in that way - she wanted to come along to that as well because *knit night* - but I think she realised that it's as much about meeting up with friends as it is knitting for me.

Making up something that I pretend to go to just to get out of the house without her isn't something I've ever felt happy doing. It's not just that I'm telling a white lie, it's having to remember the story because she always wants the details when I get home.

This year I'm strongly considering the honest approach. It's hard seeing the disappointment when I say that I want to do something on my own (like go over to the city for the morning) and she always asks why because she just doesn't get people needing time on their own, it's not a thing she needs. But if I don't then there's a good chance I'll go insane. I was getting there toward the end of her visit last time because there was literally nothing I could do without her tagging along. Even to movies she didn't like.

You know those people who don't understand why you wouldn't want to share every email you receive with them, or every thought you have, and think privacy is great but that doesn't mean you should keep anything private from them because they're family? That's my mother :-(

[bouldergirl]

I think honesty is the way to go here, it might hurt her a little in the beginning but it will also make the time you do spend together much better because you want to be there together.

You can do it and she is your mother so she will love you even if you say you need one morning or evening or whatever a week that is for you.

[emmzzi.livejournal.com]

is hiring a cleaner for a day an option?

[selenay]

For the kind of cleaning that's realistically needed? Not really. And no matter what I do or who I hire, Mum will still want to do a complete declutter and clean herself anyway.

Mostly my panic cleaning is about feeling better in myself when I find Mum polishing the windowsills with a toothbrush. At least I know it was fine when she arrived and she's being weird and Mumish so it's not that I'm a bad housekeeper.

[emmzzi.livejournal.com]

no temptation to just keave it so she has something to do?

[selenay]

So, so tempting. I know that she does all the weird cleaning anyway to give herself something to do, but I'd feel so terrible about just *assuming* she'll do it and not bothering. Argh.

[emmzzi.livejournal.com]

heh. I wish you calm, whatever your choice!!

[sugoll.livejournal.com]

Sky's been messing around with Arrow here, too: started showing it from the beginning again, for no particular reason, meaning I have to be careful what I delete unwatched...

[selenay]

Ack, it's like there's a conspiracy out there to make sure nobody watches it. What is up with that? My local station keeps flipping times, channels and days and they often don't tag up the 'new' episodes so I've had to set my PVR to record all episodes including repeats and duplicates at any time or day just to give myself a chance of catching it.

Then the EPG doesn't get loaded properly for Arrow and I flail and give up.

[tawg.livejournal.com]

Haaa, five months of hardcore mum time. I could not handle that. My mum and I are both people who like living in our own little bubble, and it's pretty great. Although, if she's going to be with you for that long maybe you should bite the bullet and introduce her to the cute comic book store girl ;)

[selenay]

You mock my hardcore mother time now. You won't be mocking when I'm Tweeting "JUST SHOOT ME NOW" in late June.

My mother doesn't do bubble. She does sprawl all over my life *sigh*

There is pretty much no chance I won't have to introduce her to the cute comic book store girl at some stage, seeing as she'll be with me everywhere I go including my regular Saturday comic book jaunts.

For five months.

*headdesk*

I'm mostly trying to squeeze in one last solo comic shop outing so that I can remember how it feels to do exciting things like cross the road on my own and browse the shelves without Mum pestering me about what I'm looking for and why and are we nearly done yet?

Except she does it with slightly more dignity. Only slightly, some days.

[tawg.livejournal.com]

My family use the phrase "Why don't you go and grab a coffee" as code for "Go away and let me do my outing in peace, since you find it so boring. I will find you when I'm done." It has the added benefit that I can send them off with my own coffee order and it's fairly likely that I'll get what I asked for :p

[selenay]

If only that worked on her. Coffee is a communal experience to her :-(