In which I am grumpy

[selenay]

Dear lower back, left hip and now ankles as of the weekend (WTF?),

I get that you are deeply unhappy about something and that the constant dampness from endless, epic rain is probably not helping. Seriously, I totally understand.

I am learning to live with not being able to sit comfortably for more than twenty minutes. And not being able to stand for long, either, making a standing desk useless. Getting up to stretch, sway gently and walk for at least five minutes three or four times an hour disrupts my work but I can live with it. I can even live with this when watching a movie at home or reading. Feeling like an old lady when I get out of bed every morning is tough and the cats are lucky to get fed some days because their bowls are on the floor, but I can cope.

You know what I can't live with? Not being able to lie down comfortably for more than a couple of hours. I miss sleep. So, could we all agree that you will at least let me sleep a bit? We'd all feel much better if that could happen.

No love,
Me

It appears that if I have a day filled with lots of gentle activity and a bit of rest, I can do all sorts of cool things like sitting through a movie in the evening, sleeping longer at night and getting some exercise.

If I spend a day at work and attempt to actually do some work, epic levels of pain ensue. I'm used to being horribly stiff in my back when I first get up, that's been the theme of the last six years. I could probably even adjust to my ankles and hip being stiff and painful when I first get up. Not being able to sleep for more than a couple of hours because a day at work has made the pain so bad is what I'm not tolerating.

It's weeks like this when I realise why people end up off work for bad backs. There is very little pain and I even get a bit of sleep at night when I treat myself right over a weekend but my back hates me by 10am on a Monday. It doesn't let up apart from the one to two hours between my morning stiffness wearing off and the sitting too long pain setting in. An hour or two a day of relative comfort is just not enough. It's definitely not enough if I can't even sit through a nine o'clock meeting anymore.

I see Awesome GI Guy tomorrow. Maybe he can hurry the rheumatology referral along? The stress from this can't be good for my UC :-( And as the UC is the reason why OTC tylenol and codeine is all I have access to (it gives me around thirty minutes' relief, which is nice but not what I'd class as effective), it would be good to get some help with this. I need a diagnosis and some kind of plan that does not involve yet more core stability exercises, because I'm pretty good at them and they HAVE NOT HELPED IN SIX YEARS. It's not that I don't want physio, but the standard back care physio has not helped and it's pretty obvious that this is not just a muscle strain. So, you know, a diagnosis before going for more physio might help the physio be more effective.

And if they could just give me some pain relief? Even if it's only something to get me through the night? I'd probably kiss the rheumy if they could manage that.

I am so incredibly done with all this. It never seemed like the NSAIDs were helping much (apart from Arcoxia, which helped a lot and I miss it so much) but it turns out they took some of the edge off.

I even miss prednisone. Nothing hurt when I was on that stuff. I've now hidden my remaining prednisone so that I can't be tempted to take it. The side-effects sucked and getting off it was not fun, but I'd be willing to do that just to get some respite.


In other news, I decided on Haagen-Dazs last night (mmm, chocolate peanut butter) and watched Percy Jackson on Netflix. Fun movie! It was a relaxing evening and the injection went really smoothly: barely hurt at all for the first time in a while, didn't nick any blood vessels and no bruising. Wheee!

Then I went to see whether I could get the first Percy Jackson book for Kindle, to see how the film measured up, and discovered that only the fifth book and onwards are available for ereaders. Fail.

The mother descends in four days. I have already reached the 'cleaning the shower with a toothbrush' stage of panic cleaning. It's a good thing I'm out tonight and tomorrow night because I'm not sure the house would survive my panic cleaning needs. And I should be too thoroughly exhausted and sore on Friday to even think about cleaning. See, there's a benefit to back pain!

Comments

[fyrdrakken]

International distribution rights strike again - I read the first four Percy Jackson books on Kindle the week I saw the movie on cable. Must be one of those only-available-in-certain-countries deals. (Comparing notes with a friend in Scotland last week on that topic. We were both annoyed by certain titles not being available in our own country.)

And geeze, yeah, hope you get a tolerable pain med solution soonest.

[selenay]

The number of things that are available in the US for Kindle and not in Canada...

I wish they'd get the international distribution rights sorted out. It drives me nuts.

Awesome GI Guy's clinic got cancelled today so I see him in a week. No sign of rheumatology appointment. Loving this so much *sigh*

[nosila]

Are you sure that they're not available for Kindle? They seem to be available through the Kindle app on my iPhone.

[selenay]

Not available in Canada :-( At least, not when I look on my Kindle or on the Amazon store. The only thing I can find is the Audible version. I think it's one of those wonderful territorial rights things.

[nosila]

Oops. It was the kobo app I was looking at, not the kindle app. You can get them on the kobo.

[wadjet-theperv.livejournal.com]

All the cleaning won't be helping *hugsyougently* I do hope they can get you some effective pain relief. Bad backs suck piggy wonks :o(

Have a great visit with your mum and if she offers to do things, let her! Take care hon.