Ah, the irritations of life

[selenay]

I have been banned from using the words "lorry" or "truck" in my big
report this week. I am now struggling for other appropriate ways to
describe a large, wheeled vehicle used to transport large quantities
of goods. They want a single word and no abbreviations, which throws
HGV out.

Apparently "lorry" and "truck" are too childish. My, this is going to
be a fun report :-)

I have decided that there are a few things that could make my commute easier:

1. Restrict all vehicles that cannot go faster than 55mph to the slow
lane of the motorway. Any vehicles that move out of this lane and are
unable to reach 60mph to be fined £5,000 for every minute they remain
in the wrong lane.

2. Insist that all drivers learn the use of indicators when changing
lanes on the motorway.

3. No. 2 applies in particular to the white van that discovered it
needed to exit the motorway at the junction we were driving past, but
was in the fast lane and had to scoot across two lanes of traffic and
the grassy bank to get to the exit.

4. And also to the white van that moved into the lane I was in the
process of moving into (I was indicating), causing me to almost throw
myself into the central reservation attempting to avoid said white
van.

5. All drivers must remember which junction they require on a motorway
and prepare for the concept of exiting the motorway in a timely
manner.

6. All buses will be able to squeeze out of the way of other cars,
allowing easier overtaking, in the manner of the Knight Bus.

I think that I'm either amused or irritable. But can't decide. Huh.