Tempering the medical with the random

[selenay]

It's been a few days since we started the process of putting me onto Humira, so I've had a lot of time to think about it. This is a pretty major undertaking and I won't deny, I've been back and forth in my mind so many times on whether it's the right choice or not. In the end, I know that if GI Guy thinks it's the best plan then it's what I'm going to do. He's the guy who treats hundreds of colitis patients every year and has decades of experience with inflammatory bowel disease. I can do all the research, but I'm a layman and there is knowledge and experience that I simply don't have so I trust my GI Guy to use his knowledge and experience to make the right choice.

I still have worries. Will this work? How long will it work for? How long will I need to be on it? How will it impact on my daily life?

What do we do if this doesn't work?

I'm starting to write all these down so that I can discuss it all sensibly with GI Guy on Monday. One thing I like about him is his willingness to explain things and answer my questions: it makes me trust him and he always manages to reassure me and stop me getting to panicked or frightened by it all.

This is the first day when I've felt 100% certain than I need to give the Humira a try, though.

I've been back on 40mg of prednisone for almost a week now. There's no cramping, no nausea and no diahorrea, which at least means that I'm feeling comfortable, but I'm still very tired and most worryingly, I'm still bleeding. Not as badly as pre-prednisone, but enough to convince me that things are simply not right in there. In fact, I'm bleeding more than I was last week. The bloodwork done before I went on vacation showed my HGB levels were at 95, which was down from when I left the hospital, and that was before I started bleeding again. I'm pretty sure that if they did bloodwork today, my HGB would probably be under 90. That's definitely the wrong direction.

I'm pretty sure that GI Guy would say that the bleeding is Not A Good Thing. Particularly when 40mg of prednisone previously stopped me bleeding completely in five days. I don't feel bad, but I don't feel right and I'm worrying a lot about whether they'll have to remove my bowel anyway if this doesn't settle.

So that's why I'm putting aside all my fears about it and going for the Humira: it needs to be tried.

Can everyone send me positive vibes for getting approved for it and for it working? The working thing is the really important bit. I need the Humira to work.


Onto less horribly depressing stuff.

I appear to be an Archer's addict. Have I hit middle age already?

Spring may finally be appearing here. There are the tips of green things poking through the flower bed in my front lawn, so the bulbs I planted in the autumn appear to have survived. I'm really looking forward to seeing all the pretty flowers when they come through.

The March edition of Asimov's magazine had several very good, thought-provoking stories. The type of story that stays with you long after you've read it, not because it was particularly graphic or scary but because the ideas are intense and disturbing if you really examine them and there are no easy answers. I remarked to someone this week that we don't read sci-fi to be comforted. That's not strictly true all the time - there is a lot of fun feel-good stuff out there - but I don't think the average sci-fi fan stays with the genre for the comfort factor. We read to be challenged and forced to think and I think some of those Asimov's stories were exactly what this genre is about.

I am currently working on two projects at work: Project Snowball and Project Bloody Nightmare. You can probably tell from my naming system just what these are like. Yesterday M, the analyst on Project Snowball, had a meeting with various stakeholders and was asked what the current deadlines were. He referred them to the software development docs, which detailed all the milestones etc. The other people in the meeting asked whether he had updated them in light of the new requirements issued on Friday.

What new requirements?

Oh, yes, they may not have actually sent M the new requirements. Heh heh.

On Project Bloody Nightmare, we are still fighting over what the project is actually building.

Oddly, I really enjoy my job despite all this. I must be a masochist.

Tomorrow it's St. Patrick's day. This event has sucked the brains from all my colleagues, who are spending more time putting shamrocks around the cubicles and planning tomorrow's breakfast event than they are doing anything else. Sadly, I am missing the breakfast due to medical tests. Argh.

The hidden cost of chronic illness: missing all the fun stuff because tests/appointments/illness always co-incides with them.

Comments

[beccaelizabeth]

*sending good thoughts*

*also imaginary chocolate*

[selenay]

Both are much appreciated :-)

[nic]

Just prayed for you. *hugs*

[wadjet-theperv.livejournal.com]

Positive vibes and heavy duty prayers coming your way hon x

[alicambs.livejournal.com]

Positive vibes being sent pronto.

As to the Archers, I've been listening on and off for years, it's the only 'soap opera' I've ever bothered with, possibly because my parents used to listen and I kind of grew up with it. :-)

[sugoll.livejournal.com]

*Hug*.

That comment about sf sounds remarkly similar to the sf shorts panel. :-)

St. Patrick's Day breakfast? Um, over here, it's more about the other end of the day...

[clairecnc.livejournal.com]

Am thinking of you, hugs. xx

[selenay]

Thanks, hon.

[selenay]

Thanks, hon, it's much appreciated.

[selenay]

I'm the same with the Archers - it was always a part of my childhood and it feels weird not to have it around.

[selenay]

The other end of the day does get celebrated as well, but my office can't really start drinking during the day so we usually do either a brekkie thing or a lunch thing. This year it was breakfast.

Also, my office likes any excuse to eat. My colleagues are lovely. Maybe that's why we keep getting sent reminders to join Weight Watchers?

[selenay]

Thanks, hon.