Security clearances, Redemption and rugby, oh my!

[selenay]

Oracle Reports is a thing of pure, unadulterated evil *sigh*

Apparently I need a certificate of some kind to say that I'm not a criminal in the UK for my security clearance for the semi-government job that I've been doing for three months. A little behind there. Anyone know anything about how I go about applying for such an item? I've googled and the only things that I can find are CRB checks (employer initiated, for people working with children) and a police national computer certificate that's only for emmigration purposes. In fact, the Met Police site specifically says that they do not do police vetting for employers. Presumably this does not include government security type vetting, but there is nothing to say how one goes about applying for that kind of certificate presumably because it's something that employers (i.e. government) usually apply for. Any ideas, oh wise (and international) f-list?

In other thoughts, I'm starting to get organised for the trip. I don't think I'll have to worry too much about my luggage allowance on the way out, but it's starting to look like I'll have a lot to bring back with me. Hmm. The good thing is that my carry-on luggage is more of a wheel-on this time and there is no way in heck that I'll be filling it. So it might be that all the yarn I buy can go in there. Alternatively, I'll put my leather coat in there and pack the yarn in the checked baggage.

I'm taking both the cameras, although I think I'll only take the little camera to the con. I need to buy myself a small, zipped thing to put essential knitting supplies into (scissors, pins, cable needles, crochet hook etc) so that I can just chuck my sock into a small bag at the con. It will also stop me losing things out of my big project bag.

I definitely need to spend some time at the weekend burning DVDs for my father. And tonight I need to spend some time photocopying a few things for people. Somewhere in there I need to edit a fic and email it to a beta. And I need to do a proper, full back-up of the lappie onto my new big hard-drive. Why is it that there is always so much to do when prepping to go anywhere?

I also need to buy train tickets for the con. How early does anyone in the know think that I can arrive on the Thursday and have some hope of checking in and dropping off baggage?

One rather excellent thing that I've discovered is that there are no Six Nations matches that weekend. I think it might be the first time I've gone to a con without having an important rugby match on the same weekend. Hooray! Even better, the following weekend is a match weekend so I'll be able to watch lots of lovely rugby with my family. Solo rugby watching isn't quite so fun as it sounds.

Don't suppose any of my new knitting friends could be persuaded to watch rugby with me? I'll explain the rules! Except the offside rule, obviously, because that's even less obvious that the offside for football. And I am still struggling a bit with one or two of the new rules that completely ruin any changes of a good driving ruck. Or possibly maul. The one where they stay on their feet, anyway. Watch me be a rugby know-it-all!

Comments

[the-magician.livejournal.com]

Check-in time
We try to be as helpful as possible, that's why it's on the website
Arriving and departing
You can check in at the hotel from 2.00pm onwards. Early check-in may be possible by special arrangement with the hotel, but it can't be guaranteed.
On the day of your departure, you must check out by 11.00am. Later check-out may be possible by prior arrangement, but cannot be guaranteed, and will usually involve a fee. Please note that there is no facility for 'express check-out'.

But dropping off baggage won't be a problem (he says from years of staying in hotels)

Police Check
The police can make checks of what is held on their computer systems about individuals and it is known as a subject access request. This is not a criminal records check. The police check will either provide a certificate stating that there is currently no information held about you on the police computer systems or it will provide a list of convictions.

There are three possible ways of obtaining the form. You can write/telephone the force involved and they will post one out to you, if you are outside the UK you can ask a friend or relative to collect one from the local police station in the force area concerned or some forces may have the form on their website that you can download.

By law these checks have to be done in a maximum of 40 days. The cost of one of these types of checks varies from Police Force Area to Area, but is usually around £10.

The fee needs to be paid in sterling so if you do not have an English bank account you would need to ask a friend or relative to pay the fee for you. They would need to send in a cheque with your details to the relevant police force so that the form and the fee can be matched. If you do not have a relative or friend in the UK then you can ask your local bank about an International Money Order (there will probably be a fee) but do not send cash.

You must complete the form yourself as it is your data (unless a child). In order to complete the form you need to provide two forms of identification, one with your name and date of birth and preferably a photograph (passport or driving licence) and the other with your current address or the address you lived at whilst in the UK (a recent utility bill or bank statement). Photocopies are accepted by some forces but not all (check prior to sending) and they must be of a good quality. If there is any suspicion of forgery then the check will not be carried out and the form will be posted back to you.

The form can be sent to your address abroad and it does not cost extra. It is advisable but not obligatory to send the form to the police force whose area you resided in in the UK.

All forms are sent to New Scotland Yard and the results are sent out on tamper proof paper and cannot be fast tracked, so apply in plenty of time.

The name of the form and procedure may vary slightly from force to force.

Officially, a check is only valid for two weeks after it has been done.
https://www.askthe.police.uk/content/Q542.htm

[gmul.livejournal.com]

Check exactly what sort of certificate they want! All of them just say "to date, I haven't been caught". You can get a CRB done on yourself but an employer isn't supposed to "trust" it. There are at least two sorts of CRB. A "standard" (for want of the correct name) doesn't include everything that the "enhanced" one, which is what you normally need to for working with children, does. In fact I think it's more complicated even than that since my last enhanced one didn't include at least one section which would have been to do with working with vulnerable adults (or similar). I had a standard one done in December - I can compare and contrast when I'm at home.

What sort of mug are Tim Horton's doing at the moment? I don't *really* need another one but the wide base one I got from them a few years ago is very handy...

I may finally get taught crochet at the weekend but I've been doing a few pom poms lately, including some with glowing jelly "yarn" - see the on the site of the second shop I sent you! I'll bring some to Redemption so you can see how daft it is...

[paranoidangel]

but it's starting to look like I'll have a lot to bring back with me.

Oh, yes, I have a few CDs I need to copy for you. I can't remember how many without checking, but it's at least five...

[catseatsocks.livejournal.com]

I played rugby in junior high, though I don't remember much. I would be up for it though!

I've only ever had to get a criminal records check, which of course is domestic. Wouldn't your employer know what you need to do and who to call? Maybe contact someone in HR?

[selenay]

HR gives me a very French shrug and says "I don't know!", so not very helpful :-( I've emailed someone at the policy authority to ask whether they know - there has to be a form somewhere!

You've just let yourself in for being invited to watch rugby when I get back :-)

[selenay]

Oooh...

:-)

Thank you so much.

[catseatsocks.livejournal.com]

Rigby and knitting, match made in heaven?

[selenay]

I've asked HR and they shrugged very expressively, but no not know which certificate it is from the various options. So I've emailed the Met Police in hopes that they may be able to suggest which would be most appropriate. The last thing I want is to go through all the hoops and find that I've got the wrong one!

Ooh, I need to see those pom-poms! They sound fun :-) And I have no idea how to crochet, but you can make some really cool stuff in crochet so that will be fun for you :-)

I'll check when I'm in Tim's later. I've got no idea right now because my colleagues keep going on TH runs and bringing stuff back to me (she says, accepting her medium double cream happily from colleague L) but there's a Tim's at the store I'll be going to later. If they're a good size, chunky-based travel mug do you want me to pick one up for you?

[selenay]

Hmm, that one does sound like it might be more suitable than the other options and I should be able to go to the station with my ID and form while I'm over. I've dropped an email to the Met Police to see whether they can clarify anything for me. HR has no idea, having been told by the government that I need to contact the Met Police for it and left with that. It's all very helpful. I'll make sure that I have utility bills and statements etc. from here and the UK just in case.

Thanks for the link as well. At least I'm zeroing in on what this might be :-)

OK, check-in after 2pm but possibility of dropping off bags earlier. Hmm. Thank you :-) Now I need to start checking train times...

[selenay]

*snicker*

Works well, though, particularly if England plays the way that they did against Italy this week *sigh*

[gmul.livejournal.com]

If they're a good size, chunky-based travel mug
Only if you're sure you'll have room on the way over but otherwise yes please. :-)

[selenay]

I'm fairly sure that I'll have room on the way over. It's on the way back that I'm more worried about!

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Oracle Reports is a thing of pure, unadulterated evil *sigh*

You're lucky. We've got Oracle CRM (as well as all our other Oracle stuff). It's the bastard offspring of pure, unadulterated evil, and ... erm. I'm not sure what. Maybe another 5 copies of itself. Kind of nasty, really.

[the-magician.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.

As it says, normal check in time is from 2pm (it gives the cleaners from 11am to 2pm clear time to reset rooms, put in clean sheets and towels, run the vacuum around etc.) ... but most business people are out of their rooms well before 9am so the cleaners will often start going around then ... plus there will probably be rooms that were reset earlier in the week and haven't be used since ... so if you contact the hotel and say you'd like to check in earlier and is there any chance your room could be ready then, then they will be able to tell you yes, maybe or no.

To try to make things easier on the hotel, Redemption have actually gone through and pre-allocated room numbers for room bookings that have come through us (at the time we did that, we had *all* the rooms in the hotel, I think we might still do!) so the hotel will know now/soon which room number is yours and may be able to arrange not to give it to someone on Wednesday night, so it's all setup and ready for you when you arrive earlier on Thursday. Maybe, maybe not, but if you don't ask, you'll never find out!

The CRB check I believe, can only be released to registered organisations and so has to be requested by those registered bodies. This means that a foreign employer is almost certainly barred from receiving this information, though a foreign government organisation may have a reciprocal arrangement. The police releasing that information would almost certainly be a breach of the Data Protection Act.

[the-magician.livejournal.com]

http://www.crb.gov.uk/Default.aspx?page=289&qid=3044

Individuals cannot apply for a CRB report on themselves.
The current legislation does not allow the self-employed or individuals to apply for a CRB check on themselves.
http://www.crb.gov.uk/Default.aspx?page=381

Seems fairly clear ... though you could go through an umbrella organisation that will ask for a CRB on you ...

[selenay]

The whole Oracle system is the spawn of Satan. Oracle Warehouse Builder is so far beyond nightmarish that I don't even want to think about it and Report Builder is just plain useless.

How is it even possible that extracting the SQL statement behind the report and running it produces wildly different results from the report? How the hell does that happen? Same parameters, same everything - completely different results. Not even in the same ballpark. I've been through every bit of code that I can find and there are no special hidden exclusions anywhere, this should be the same SQL and yet the output is totally different. How the heck is anyone supposed to test that their changes worked when they can't even get the original report to tally back to the data in the tables it's using?

< / rant >

Spawn of Satan. If an alien race wants to destroy the minds of the Earth's brightest and best, they should force them to program something in Oracle for three hours. They'll all be gibbering wrecks at the end, unable to remember their own names nevermind foil an alien invasion.

Are there "I hate Oracle with the fiery passion of a thousand suns" T-shirts out there? *runs away to check ThinkGeek*

*is disappointed at lack of T-shirts hating on Oracle*

I am going to commit blasphemy: I miss attempting to build usable reports using VBA and a Teradata database. At least there I could see where the hell the data came from even if it was a clunky, cludgy system of hell.

[gmul.livejournal.com]

It may well not be relevant but:

A CRB disclosure will include some or all of the following:
"Police Records of Convictions, Cautions, Reprimands and Final Warnings"
"Information from the list held under Section 142 of the Education Act 2002"
"Protection of Children Act List information"
"Protection of Vulnerable Adults List information"
"Other relevant information disclosed at the Chief Police Officer(s) discretion"

A standard disclosure seems to just have the first one with the next three "Not Requested"
My enhanced disclosure for working with young people had them all ("None Recorded") except the adults one as Not Requested. I don't remember from the application form if it was possible (for the applying organisation) to choose if they just wanted some bits, or if there are sort of "standard", "enhanced - kids" and "enhanced - adults" standard choices.
There may be another sort of disclosure with even more things on but I've never had one. :-)

[gmul.livejournal.com]

Individuals cannot apply for a CRB report on themselves.
Hmm. Clear indeed. I may have misunderstood what someone told me about them getting one. Or the rules may have changed in the last year or so. Hey ho.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

I have no advice about the CRB thing, but about I don't think I'll have to worry too much about my luggage allowance on the way out, but it's starting to look like I'll have a lot to bring back with me

All I can say is that every time I travel I end up buying a very large tote bag to call a "purse" on the way back, because even when I go with half-empty suitcases, there's never enough room!

[selenay]

As I'll have a rolling carry-one and a laptop bag, the tote bag may not work :-) But I shall be making my suitcase and rolling carry-on work hard, I think!

The Met has sorted out the CRB thing for me, or at least told me what I need to apply for so at the weekend I'll be filling out forms and photocopying ID. Put it all in an envelop and post the moment I step off the aeroplane - hopefully!

[selenay]

According to the Met it's the access to information form that I need, which I actually need to get from my former local police authority and send off. So I'm pretty certain now what needs to be applied for and just need to get the forms filled and ID photocopied, ready to be posted when I arrive on Wednesday.

I was in Tim's today. No sign of mugs :-( I'll probably be in another Tim's over the next couple of days so I'll keep an eye out.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

May your paperwork be trouble-free and your suitcases big enough! :>