selenay: (Default)
It's the 26th of January again. Six years ago, I insisted on having some blood work done because I felt ill and exhausted and thought I might be slightly anemic. Or at least, suffering from messed up electrolytes because I hadn't been able to keep any food inside me for a few days. Friends had been telling me I wasn't imagining, I really looked ill, for a long time and I finally insisted the doctor was wrong and I needed some blood work.

A few hours later, I was told to rush to hospital ASAP, where I received multiple blood transfusions and began getting tested for bowel disease.

That morning, I didn't feel too concerned. With six years of hindsight, I can read between the lines and see how much of a front I was putting up. When I said I was working from home? I meant that I was lying on the sofa with my laptop on a coffee table, working, because if I sat up for long, I got so light-headed and started to pass out.

The next day, after a night in the ER receiving all that blood, the gravity of it hadn't really sunk in yet. It was so hard to believe I was really sick. Obviously, it sunk in over the next few days, as tests and heavy-duty drugs and so on began. But at that time, I just couldn't accept what had really happened to me and how close it had really been.

If I hadn't had the blood work that day, it's probable I would have gone to bed that night and not woken up. I don't have to speculate--medical professionals have told me that.

The nurse who took my blood that day and put a rush on the results saved my life. The receptionist who took the results off a fax machine and called me to tell me to go to the hospital immediately, she'd send an ambulance if I couldn't get a drive, saved my life.

The doctors and nurses who worked on me saved my life.

The donors who gave their time and their blood saved my life.

The friends who told me I wasn't crazy and should get some tests done saved my life.

Every year, I think I'll forget about this. But every year, I feel so grateful for the extra year I've just had. There are now six years I wouldn't have had without all those people who saved my life.

That time hasn't always been easy. I've had days when I've been in so much pain, I didn't know what to do. I've had days when I'm so fed up with drugs and needles and doctors, I've wanted to stop it all. But the good days have far, far outweighed those and I'm grateful for every one of them, the good days and the bad days.

And so, as has become tradition, I can't forget about that day six years ago when I came so close to dying. I can't forget about all the people who combined to save my life that day.

All I can say is, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, to everyone, thank you for saving my life and for the six years I've been alive since. THANK YOU.
selenay: (Default)
For reasons that only my immune system can answer (and it doesn't talk to me much), my body has suddenly decided to cooperate with my meds. Of course, it decided to do that a week before I saw my new GP to ask for referrals. Good timing, eh?

I finally started to get a really good response to the Humira within 24 hours of each dose - back settling so much that I can bend at the waist and sit for whole half hours at a time, belly not hurting - and for a couple of doses, it actually lasted until a day or two before the next injection. The last two doses have stayed mostly effective all the way through.

It's Monday, I don't do Humira until tomorrow, and I can still bend at the waist, sit at my desk for long enough to get work done, and stand up for more than a few minutes without severe pain. I managed baking at the weekend. I got editing done at my desktop.

It's bloody marvelous.

My new GP seems pretty great. I got a good vibe from him - he understood what inflammatory axial (spinal, for us laymen) arthritis was like and he made IBD puns, so I think we'll get on well. The colonoscopy was deeply unpleasant and I'm unimpressed by my body's decision to resist the sedation until two hours after it was over, but it's done and I don't have much to worry about, apparently. Just have to wait for biopsy results, but GI Guy expects them to come back clear.

Now it's July, which means it's "try to write a huge long fic for Marvel Big Bang while keeping up with the Tour de France" season. With added novel editing. Yeah, this is going to be such a restful three weeks!
selenay: (Default)
*blows dust off the furniture*

So, that whole "I'm totally going to blog regularly, really!" thing didn't last through the end of the winter of hell. Whoops.

So, time to start again.

Where to start?

I'm enjoying the lack of winter. I'm over the moon that Agent Carter got renewed with a ten episode order. I have no words to express what I feel about the Hugos clusterfuck.

My back has totally borked itself and I've spent two months trying to get a new GP, because walk-in clinics are bloody useless for this stuff. Next Friday I'm seeing someone who *might* be my new GP. Cross your fingers? It would be nice to have some help and a referral to the right people.

I've also got a colonoscopy next week. The original plan was to do it later in the year, but I got offered an appointment on Friday for next week, after some bloodwork results came back. That's not worrying at all, obvs. I doubt my haemoglobin is low, so it's probably a raging white blood count and possibly some high inflammatory markers.

I can't imagine why that's happening. My back has only been a mass of inflammation since February. Although I'm willing to concede that I might be getting some belly pain that I've cheerfully been ignoring for a couple of weeks. Urk. It'll be interesting to see what the scope shows, anyway.

Guess I'm playing medication roulette again soon :-)

I have done so much reading. The only time my back is relatively not painful is when I'm walking or pedalling on my stationary bike, so I've had my nose in a book while I pace the house or pedal. So much fic reading. So many books.

Writing hasn't been easy, because sitting makes my back hurt, but I have managed to figure out an arrangement with my iPad and a keyboard that isn't too awful. I write in bursts and then wander off to read and pace for a while before writing some more. Working at my desktop only happens on weekends during my good phases of the day, so editing of any form has been horrendously delayed. Ugh. But I'm getting there.

Summer hiatus is upon us. I managed to keep up with most shows, but I've still got a few Sleepy Hollow episodes to watch and I didn't quite manage to marathon the last half of Arrow before Mum arrived for her annual visit last week. I'll be trying to sneak in the last couple of episodes whenever she's out.

I'm sure there must be interesting things for me to talk about, but the habit has gone again. Drat! Anyone got something they want me to write about?
selenay: (angels have the phone box)
Cut for medical stuff )

Onto more cheerful things!

My local con announced yesterday that they've got Peter Davidson as a guest! *cue running around shrieking*

While Sylvester McCoy is my favourite Doctor (from Old Who) in terms of having the best stories, Peter Davidson is *my* Doctor because he was my first and that always stays special. So I'm rather over the moon and definitely planning on attending :-D

They've got a few interesting names including J. August Richards. On the one hand, I'd love to see him. On the other hand, I'm assuming he'll probably pull out as he's got a major role on the SHIELD TV show and when (I'm no longer going with 'if' here) ABC picks that up officially, I'd imagine he'll have filming commitments that will make jaunting up to Canada rather tricky.

I try very hard never to book for cons based on one single guest. Odds are always good that something will happen and that guest won't be there.

My local con is more of a big media con than I really like these days but they're making an effort not to have everything revolving around the big name guests, which I'm fully in support of. Knowing there are multiple programming tracks makes me much more likely to attend. I'd love it if there were some more fan-oriented tracks and maybe a literary track, but I can't have everything. And hey, at least there's a con here of some kind :-D

This weekend is going to be mostly about sleeping and maybe some napping. It's been an exhausting week and I'm running on fumes today. I've got a pizza in the freezer for supper tonight and I plan to completely veg out and catch up on some TV. The cats are going to appreciate this plan because they've started to act rather cuddle-deprived and mournful every time I get up and have to go somewhere. Poor petals.
selenay: (thinking)
I assume that at some stage I'll look at the calendar on January 26th and not be thinking about where I was at this time N years ago. This isn't that year.

It is now officially two years since was admitted to the ER for emergency blood transfusions due to (then) undiagnosed severe extensive ulcerative colitis. I'd lost half my blood volume and couldn't sit up or stand up for long without feeling faint and dizzy. I was having unexpected 'naps' regularly, getting winded walking anywhere and the nurses were frankly amazed that I was still conscious with my numbers where they were.

I've mostly got past the bit in the saga where the urgent care clinic docs insisted there was nothing wrong with me. It happened and it sucked but it won't happen again because Awesome GI Guy keeps a close eye on me.

What still blows me away is that somewhere out there are three people who donated blood and saved my life. The nurses assured me that had I not received blood when I did, I would have been unconscious by the following morning and dead a day or two after that.

Those three units of blood literally saved my life that night.

I've been able to thank the doctors and nurses who worked on me that night and the doctors who have treated me since. The researchers who developed the drugs (and are still developing new, better drugs) that have kept me going since then are people I'll never be able to thank but hopefully they know how important they are to the lives of patients like me.

But the most important part of January 26th 2011 was the three units of blood I received.

Due to my medical history I can't donate blood or bone marrow. I'm signed up as an organ and tissue donor, but there's a good chance that they won't be able to harvest much from me when I die. So I've got no practical way to give back to the donor system that helped me and will probably help me again in the future.

The best I can do is this: giving blood saves lives. I'm living proof of this. If you can give blood, please do it and know that those of us who are unfortunate enough to need it really do value your gift and we thank you from the bottoms of our still-beating hearts.
selenay: (canon slash)
Cut for medical stuff )

And so I went home and moped and held a great big pity party and did everything except burst into teares on my poor mother. I even jumped down her throat when she offered to help me with my Thursday night chores because it just made me feel like a useless invalid and that? I did not need.

I'll treat her to a pumpkin spice latte after work tonight to apologise for being such a cow yesterday.

The cats worked out that I was in a bad way and spent the evening snuggling me. Both of them at once, despite the fact that they barely tolerate each other's existence right now. When I'm hyperventilating over the cost of Kate's treatment next week, remind me of how awesome they can be, OK?

Today the pity party is over. I'm going to cheer the hell up, get positive again about life and put all the crappy medical stuff to the back of my mind as much as possible.

I'm going to ignore all the depressing news stories, all the depressing fics and I'm not even going to think about trying to finish George R.R. Martin for a while. My little world will be kittens, ridiculous Tumblr gifs, happy fluffy Avengers fic and my stash of DVD boxsets.

If I write, it's going to be the daftest thing that I can possibly come up with.

At least for the next couple of days, anyway :-D

Now I just need the rest of the world to get on board with this plan.
selenay: (bad day 2)
Helpful hint to fanfic writers: typos will slip through even the most thorough beta, but really try hard on slaughtering the typos in sex scenes.

Bugle <> bulge

That particular substitution in the middle of a sex scene is jarring, to say the least :-D I spend the next five pages with my brain on a permanent loop of unfortunate anatomy.

This week there is no Tour so I'll be trying to get a lot of writing done. I'd like to have two chapters of the [livejournal.com profile] marvel_bang done by the end of the week and a signficant chunk of the ridiculous AU. That would, at least, get me near the halfway mark on the MBB first draft and through some of the bits of the ridiculous AU that I'm nervous about.

Cut for slightly lengthy personal stuff )

In other news: the all salad all week supper plan is coming into effect today...just in time for a prediction of two days of torrential rain starting tomorrow. I apologise to all Atlantic Canadians for the coming rainpocalypse. I'll try to make next week filled with comforting pastas, roasts and other foods one does not want on a hot day so that the weather returns to summer.

Also, my cats are very...special. Annie-cat showed us on Saturday that she has a look of Great Judgement. Apparently I must shower before cuddles are acceptable if I've used sunscreen and she will judge me for the sunscreen and lack of cuddles if I do not.

Kate produced her Super Death Glare last night when I dared to suggest she should move so that I could feed her. She was very comfortable, thank you, and when faced with the choice between food or being allowed to stay comfy and asleep, she'll take the latter.

My cats are not like other cats, I suspect.
selenay: (bad day)
Dear immune system,

Just bugger off, will you? I'm seeing Awesome GI Guy on Wednesday. If I find out that the recent attacks of stomach cramps, canker sores in my mouth, exhaustion and generally feeling ick are because you've decided to get lively again, I'm going to be seriously angry.

You did read the memo about our trip to England next month? And you did remember that we're not doing steroids and other nausea-inducing medications when we have big trips planned, right?

No love,
The rest of Sel's body


Dear hyperactive vegetarian,

No matter what ick-inducing papers and speeches you send me, I'm still going to be eating meat and fish a few times a week. I work hard to maintain a balanced diet - which includes a couple of meat free days each week and a generally low-meat approach to meals when I do eat meat - and I think that's a good thing.

You're not changing my mind on the whole omnivore thing, sorry.

No love,
Me


Dear Kate,

I love you a great deal, but can you behave a little less like a hyper-active toddler in feline form in the mornings? Annie and I prefer a quieter, more laid back start to the day.

No love,
Your human and your fluffy sister


Dear chocolate,

I love you so, so much today.

Love,
Sel

Oh ugh

Mar. 21st, 2012 05:38 pm
selenay: (anti-social)
Every now and again, say every fourth or fifth dose, my fortnightly injectable medication makes me feel like hell. Usually nausea, headache and general fluish exhaustion.

This was today's joy. With the bonus of two important meetings and a lunch invite from the boss.

I made it through the meetings. I gracefully declined the lunch invite, reinforcing the weird impression that several colleagues have that I'm a vegetarian. They were going for BBQ. While my bland soup and toast did finally settle my tummy somewhat, I suspect that the smell of meat and ketchup and frying things would have been of the bad.

Apparently it wasn't that good. The pulled pork was dry and sauce-less. So I missed nothing, as a colleague who knows that I'm an omnivore-who-eats-less-meat-than-the Canadian-standard reported.

So that is why, instead of running around with a vacuum, scrubbing the bathroom or peddling my exercise bike I'm relaxing on the sofa with tea. Those things can wait. I need some rest.
selenay: (coffee)
That title sums things up. So tired, so sleepy, would kill for sleeping through an entire night. Or even just for more than one hour at a time.

Also, my pharmacy tried to overcharge me for my Humira yesterday by a terrifying $145. It got resolved and appears to have been some kind of mistake by the pharmacy owner (I'm trying not to think about it too closely) but for a while there I was quite worried and trying to figure out how badly it would affect my ability to save (I'm trying to get six months of expenses saved for the next time I get sick, just in case) or even just get by in some months.

My pharmacist and her techs were lovely. Just glad that they believed me when I said that it was definitely wrong and did some poking around.

Also, my pharmacist is very pregnant! This is an awesome thing because she's got Crohn's and I know that she has a stricture (we chatter about our IBD's and she's been great about giving me the real life scoop on my meds) so she's doing really well to get pregnant and look as healthy as she does. Yay for my pharmacist!

Less ugh

Feb. 11th, 2012 02:52 pm
selenay: (coffee)
So, my day has been reorganised, I'm missing some of the rugby and my tummy has shrunk enough to barely manage half the pasta lunch I just treated myself to...

But the car is fixed and didn't cost me anything thanks to the amazing warranty I got when I bought it. That warranty is paying for itself nicely.

Now I'm sitting outside the hairdresser (having turned up half an hour early, just in case I was late again) trying to pretend that the stomach cramps are from over-eating and not from the stupid UC flare.

That's probably why I fell apart a bit this morning. My brain turns to mush from being tired.

Still, at least I have Nightwing to keep me occupied (oh, and Fantastic Four, mustn't forget that), some Doctor Who if I don't want to read and various people on Twitter keeping me insane through the worst of the day.

The large capacity (for videos) and 3G (for reassurance via Twitter and LJ) on the iPad are paying off.
selenay: (donna 1)
Hello Internet! Why yes, it has been forever since I last updated this thing.

Cut for babble amount life milestones )

Anyway, everything is so different now and I couldn't be happier.

The last few weeks have been quiet due to a lot of reading and watching stuff. I've got so much to say about it all so I shall try to get something up on here about it over the weekend.

Suffice to say, since the beginning of 2012 I have read 10 books, watched a season and a bit of Deep Space 9, watched season 2 of Buffy, watched half a season of Castle and assorted other bits and bobs. It's been so much fun!

And in the most important bit of news yet, I'm now a supporting member of Worldcon 2012 and a Friend of Worldcon 2014. It looks like I'm going to Worldcon in 2014 :-D Let the countdown and insane bouncing begin!

ETA: Correct the years, I'm a supporting member of this year's Worldcon :-D
selenay: (bitchy trampoline)
Today has definitely been one of those days where I remembered why I felt so stressed just before my vacation and can't quite figure out why I thought databases would be a good career choice. Yeesh.

I managed to duck out early, though, to have a visit with Awesome GI Guy. He's very pleased with me and I'm officially back in remission :-) No change to the med schedule, we're going to see how I do for now.

I've got an appointment (finally) with a rheumatologist next month. The rheumy is probably going to order a ton of bloodwork, so Awsome GI Guy wants to be copied in on that rather than ordering his own bloods for next month and getting me stuck with needles twice in one month. Sensible guy. Awesome GI Guy also got a demo of just how nasty my back is being (I'd been sitting in his waiting room for a while, it got painful) and is speculating that this is ankylosing spondylitis. Not something that would shock me, given the UC and a family history of AS, but it was a surprise to hear someone admitting that it may be the cause.

And that's why he's Awesome :-)

Anyway, tonight is supposed to be miserable out there so I've done a short yoga practise and will be skipping class tonight. Instead I shall curl up with some TV watching. Yay.

Things I still need to do on the new computer:

1) Install iTunes
2) Switch Mcafee licence (I have until 12 Nov. to do that)
3) Install an HTML editor
4) Set up office VPN
5) Install and set up Thunderbird

It's a short list, but a couple of those are time-consuming things and I've not had much time after work this week. This is largely due to back pain. Argh.

I am really very hungry. Time to heat some chilli, methinks.
selenay: (brain to mush)
Well, my meeting with the GI Guy went a bit better than expected. I'm not in remission, but it's not bad yet and he's happy to give non-steroid meds (a 5ASA one) a good go. Woo! So, more meds but not the nasty steroids. I'm going back in four weeks to review, sooner if I deteriorate, and we'll probably conclude that Humira will need long-term help. He isn't giving up on it yet, though, and is happy to call Humira plus a 5ASA med keeping me in remission a victory so we'll see how that goes. Phew!

I'm finding Perdito Street Station very good and compelling, but also somewhat endless. It does finish at some stage, right?

I have to say, after a month or so of being rather naff and dull Holby City has rather picked up again. Between Frieda being awesome, Dan being an idiot (in a more interesting way than he was with Malick), Jac being totally awesome and my continuing fear that cardio-thoracics may really go away, it's all got lots of stories that I'm invested in. Now I just need to find time for this week's episode and Spooks among all the rugby I'm watching.

Oh, yes, and Glee and Gray's Anatomy and CSI:NY. Telly box, you are so lovely.

At some stage, I also need to watch Xena, Sliders, and all the other new stuff on Netflix. And finish old Spooks, The Tudors, Leverage and all the other stuff I've been meaning to watch.

Damn, telly box, you are lovely but you have too many options. And there are all those books that I need to read, too! The new Mercedes Lackey Valdemar book is on its way to me (and Mum will be confiscating it until my vacation, per my instructions) and there is a 500 Kingdoms book due out next month and...

Jeez, how do people find time to be bored?
selenay: (bad day 2)
I've been having a bit of a week. My computer played silly buggers on Wednesday and I've been nervous about turning it on ever since. And having anxiety moments every time I think about it, even though it's irrational to the extreme because the world isn't over if I have to replace my computer a bit earlier than planned.

Deadlines are approaching at work and things we thought would be easy to achieve are turning out to be epically not easy and in some cases require extensive work-arounds in order to get things working. So, you know, more anxiety.

On top of that, I am starting to think that my remission status only lasted two weeks. I won't go into details, but since the middle of last week there have been strong hints that I'm getting sick again.

I keep promising myself that I'll call Awesome GI Guy tomorrow if things don't improve. And then promising the same thing tomorrow and on and on. Mostly I just don't want to admit that Humira may not be holding me in remission. I'm so sick of hospitals, tests, needles, drugs, side-effects and everything else. I'm done. I don't want to talk about it to friends or family IRL because it will just worry them and I know that burying my head in the sand is not helpful but I just wanted a few weeks of being OK :-(

I wish that I could forget all of this and go into the weekend feeling calm, but the computer issues and possible flare are both things that will be rearing their heads over the weekend and I'm not good at forgetting about work.

I'd been doing so well at not being anxious and this week has just thrown me. My head is a bad place.
selenay: (questions/comments)
Oh, Humira, you fickle thing. Some weeks the injection barely stings, other weeks I have to question the maternal status of local canines out loud.

Guess which was this week's experience?

I have so totally earned the chocolate peanut butter ice-cream that I'm treating myself to tonight.

In other news...

I have set up a savings plan to pay for flights, accommodation and spending at Worldcon 2014. With a small weekly put-away, I estimate that I'll have enough for a very pleasant time indeed. Look at me, being all responsible and stuff.

I am quite disappointed that [livejournal.com profile] tardis_bigbang does not seem to be happening this year. It would have made me actually write my Orient Express in Space story rather than piddling around with files of notes and not actually writing anything.

Still, the Doctor is back on Saturday so maybe I'll finally start putting pen to paper. Either on that one or the adventures of the cross-dressing inter-species lesbian lovers. Something has to work otherwise my entire writing output this year will be [community profile] yuletide and that's just really, really bad. Someone suggest a way to make myself write?
selenay: (grin)
So, we shall start with the good news: there is no sign of active disease!

To quote Awesome GI Guy: "If I didn't know you had colitis, I would swear you didn't have it".

I believe this means that I'm officially in remission :-DD

Also, I can now eat All The Things. Salads! Raw veggies! Beans! Lentils!

I may need to slowly reintroduce these things (last night's entire head of broccoli may have been a mistake...) but it's such a relief to be able to eat normally again without worrying about my innards.

On the bad news front...

My extreme exhaustion should not be happening. I'm not losing blood and there is no longer any inflammation so there should be no fatigue. Awesome GI Guy is concerned about this and has ordered immediate blood work. I shall be stabbed tomorrow and I have to call the office on Monday to find out what they want to do next. He is putting the Awesome in Awesome GI Guy by being unsatisfied by me being drained, tired and occasionally light-headed and determined to find the cause. I adore him for this.

Today was a nausea and fatigue day. On the one hand, I was annoyed that I felt so ick because I wanted to see Awesome GI Guy and say "Looks, all better!" because it makes him happy. On reflection it was actually a good thing because he could tell by my lack of general perkiness that something wasn't right. Let's hope something nice and simple shows up in my bloodwork so that I can feel properly better soon, OK?
selenay: (books 2)
I'm feeling much happier and more positive today. It helps that the cramping has now gone so I'm not feeling icky. Note to self: bring a heating pad to work next specialist day and go home if the cramping gets bad. It's not worth the misery.

Also, big lunch plans after an appointment are a really bad idea.

Tomorrow there will be dinner out, at the same place that I was at yesterday in all probability, and I'm feeling much more relaxed about it now.I

Today I also took only 30mg of prednisone, per doctor's orders, rather than the 40mg I've been on for the last week. It's possible that a certain amount of yesterday's mental crazy and today's better mood are related to this.

Apparently I am not the only person who found it hard to get into Red Seas Under Red Skies by Scott Lynch. Phew! The first third or so feels very disconnected and I found it hard to really get absorbed in it. Then a certain thing happens and everything starts to flow much better. I'm now racing through it and glad that I stuck with it rather than giving up as I nearly did earlier. This is one of those books that does benefit from sticking with it despite a tough beginning and it's an illustration of why I rarely give up on books, just in case I miss a good book that took time to get going.

Tomorrow I see Harry Potter. I'm both incredibly excited and slightly sad. After all, when it's over that will be it. The last movie. No more new stuff. Admittedly, I've already had to do my mourning over the idea of no more new stuff when I read the last book but this is even more final than that.

I've got plans to buy all the books in ebook form, to supplement my physical copies, when Pottermore opens. And then I'll have a great big marathon of them all. The end of this year will be very Harry-intensive.

It's OK to sound crazy here, right?
selenay: (bad day 2)
Cut for medical stuff )

< / moaning >

You know what I'd really like? A long vacation. I'm getting very tired out from all the medical stuff and I really just want to curl up somewhere and read for a very long time right now. Except it's not a good time to take my vacation and I can't really justify even a couple of days of sick time because I'm not actually sick-sick, just worn out and fed up. Eh, I'll get over it.

This week has been filled with meetings, stress and a lot of hurry up and wait stuff. Thankfully I've had some great Tour de France racing to watch in the evenings and today the race hits the Pyrenees, which is going to be amazing.
I'm most of the way through the back of my new shirt, so hopefully tonight I'll get that finished and can start the front, which has a nice little lace motif in places.

Also, I have ticked to Harry Potter. Saturday evening. It's going to be excellent!
selenay: (grin)
Dear Mum,

Saturday is, sadly, going to be miserable weather and so our daytrip to the city (with yummy lunch) is going to be postponed. After all, it's not much fun having a long wander when you're soaked.

When I suggested tea and books as an alternative plan, I meant that we should have a nice, quiet, relaxing day at home after our usual Saturday chores. You know, a fun plan that makes up a bit for the lack of yummy lunch and city visiting.

That does not mean that I want to spend my day sorting through my wardrobe, de-frosting the freezer and re-painting the trim on half the doors in the house. Somehow, this does not equal a nice relaxing day. And it is certainly not fun. It sounds like rather a lot of work, in fact.

Love,
Me


Dear body,

Why can you not just do what you're supposed to? I am so over the blood loss thing now. Just respond to the damn steroids already, won't you?

No love,
Me


In other news, the Tour de France is proving both terrifying and totally thrilling. I approve.

Also, as a result of a meeting yesterday that I emerged from shell-shocked and horrified, there is now chocolate (a Wispa) in my desk drawer as an emergency remedy for future meetings on Project Doom. It was indeed rather like being confronted by Dementors. Except I can't produce a Patronus to protect myself, which I'm starting to think would be a handy trick *shudders*

ETA: Um, OK, so apparently my selfless devotion to the work insanity is paying off. Despite everything that's happened over the last six months, I was given a promotion and payrise today. You have no idea how pleased this makes me :-D

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